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Author Topic: Suffering from loneliness  (Read 36603 times)

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Offline Bataar

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Suffering from loneliness
« on: March 15, 2023, 01:44:45 AM »
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  • Please keep me in your prayers. 

    Offline Nadir

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #1 on: March 15, 2023, 01:50:33 AM »
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  • Certainly. :pray:
    Help of Christians, guard our land from assault or inward stain,
    Let it be what God has planned, His new Eden where You reign.


    Offline Plenus Venter

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #2 on: March 15, 2023, 02:01:29 AM »
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  • Please keep me in your prayers.
    Will do, you poor soul. I pray every day for the lonely in my Rosary. 

    Offline Stubborn

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #3 on: March 15, 2023, 04:19:35 AM »
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  • :pray:
    "But Peter and the apostles answering, said: We ought to obey God, rather than men." - Acts 5:29

    The Highest Principle in the Church: "We are first of all under obedience to God, and only then under obedience to man" - Fr. Hesse

    Offline Matthew

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #4 on: March 15, 2023, 04:26:48 AM »
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  • Not to dismiss your suffering (God forbid!) but I would like to add --

    1. There are degrees of loneliness. Even in some families, while the greatest desolation is staved off because of all the "people" around, still there can be a constant loneliness in the background (think: parents with zero Trad Catholic friends to socialize with, confide in, etc.) Think of all the families who can only get to a Trad Mass once a month or less, and even then, there aren't any adults their age to be close to or socialize with. Or no Trads to see/visit within a 1 hour radius or more.

    2. And then there's being "lonely in a crowd". Not all families, or spouses, are completely close or get along well. 

    I can personally attest to #1 (fortunately, not #2).

    To varying degrees, and for varying reasons, this Crisis is hard on a lot of people. I can only imagine how much suffering must be out there among Trad Catholics.

    May God grant you His grace and consolations. :pray:
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    Offline Plenus Venter

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #5 on: March 15, 2023, 07:13:39 AM »
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  • Not to dismiss your suffering (God forbid!) but I would like to add --

    1. There are degrees of loneliness. Even in some families, while the greatest desolation is staved off because of all the "people" around, still there can be a constant loneliness in the background (think: parents with zero Trad Catholic friends to socialize with, confide in, etc.) Think of all the families who can only get to a Trad Mass once a month or less, and even then, there aren't any adults their age to be close to or socialize with. Or no Trads to see/visit within a 1 hour radius or more.

    2. And then there's being "lonely in a crowd". Not all families, or spouses, are completely close or get along well.

    I can personally attest to #1 (fortunately, not #2).

    To varying degrees, and for varying reasons, this Crisis is hard on a lot of people. I can only imagine how much suffering must be out there among Trad Catholics.

    May God grant you His grace and consolations. :pray:
    And then there is the individual - no spouse (widow/widower/singleton), no family, perhaps no job, no Mass centre... it can be very gloomy. After all, God did say "it is not good for man to be alone". However, with every trial, we know that God will give the grace. Yet that does not necessarily give much comfort when we are in the midst of the trial.

    I remember Fr Conrad Daniels (what a great Retreat Master) relating a story of his own experience. If I recall, he was a young priest in France, and he picked up a gentleman hitchhiking. The man seemed very depressed and Father tried to cheer him. Ah Father, I've just lost my wife in an accident. Fr tried to console him. Ah Father, if only that were all... he continued to relate a series of tragedies that had deprived him of all his loved ones in rapid succession, leaving him all alone. Father was trying to give us some understanding of the pain of loss of the damned, worse than any physical pain.

    One could give a lot of advice, but it's cold comfort when you are passing through the trial. All I can say is hang in there Bataar, unite your suffering, especially this Lent, with Our suffering Saviour and His Sorrowful Mother, and offer your pain to save those poor sinners at the point of death from passing into eternal loneliness.

    Offline Soubirous

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #6 on: March 15, 2023, 08:35:00 AM »
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  • :pray:
    Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you, all things pass away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things. He who has God finds he lacks nothing; God alone suffices. - St. Teresa of Jesus

    Offline rosarytrad

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #7 on: March 15, 2023, 09:10:12 AM »
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  • Please keep me in your prayers.
    I'm in the same boat as you. I will pray for you, Bataar. Hang in there.
    The mercies of the Lord I will sing for ever. - Ps. 88:2a
    St. Anthony of Padua, pray for us.
    St. John of God, pray for us.
    Our Lady of Guadalupe, mystical rose, make intercession for Holy Church.


    Offline TheRealMcCoy

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #8 on: March 15, 2023, 09:46:58 AM »
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  • I can relate.  The struggle isn't the loneliness as much as the battle to avoid sin because of loneliness.

    Offline St Giles

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #9 on: March 15, 2023, 09:59:21 AM »
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  • I have the same problem.

    Let us try to imitate the great saints who's minds were so greatly occupied by the presence of God that, they could never feel alone.

    I think it helps to just come to terms with loneliness or whatever the struggle, accept it, and move on. It's not that easy, but it's easier than just dwelling on the misery. Rather, dwell on all the good that has happened to you being very thankful to God for: whatever food and drink you have had, whatever shelter, work, transportation, money, past friends, preservation from worse evils, for even the smallest of pleasures, and most certainly for the true faith and the fact that your eternity is not judged yet. Thank God for these things, and even for the loneliness, which Jesus also suffered in his agony in the garden when his closest friends slept. Ask Jesus to be your friend, and be his as you now have loneliness you can suffer with him. 

    One could give a lot of advice, but it's cold comfort when you are passing through the trial. All I can say is hang in there Bataar, unite your suffering, especially this Lent, with Our suffering Saviour and His Sorrowful Mother, and offer your pain to save those poor sinners at the point of death from passing into eternal loneliness.
    Yes, very good post ^^^
    "Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect."
    "Seek first the kingdom of Heaven..."
    "Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall render an account for it in the day of judgment"

    Offline EWPJ

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #10 on: March 15, 2023, 10:26:03 AM »
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  • I'm in much the same boat.  These times are rough for many because of the already mentioned issues in the above posts.  You may feel alone but you are not alone.  There are many of us going through what you are.  The only thing I'll add is that God will use this time so that we become dependent on Him and Him alone.  This is actually a gift from God.  He wants to pull us away from love of worldly things and worldly people so we can depend on Him and make Him the center of our lives.  Develop a better relationship with Him through your Guardian Angel (who will always be there so you're never alone even if you feel you are), and through a greater devotion to The Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph.  


    Offline josefamenendez

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #11 on: March 15, 2023, 05:06:12 PM »
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  • This may not seem like Christian behavior, but every once in a while when I suffer from loneliness I force myself to go out among people , and then I quickly realize why I prefer to be alone...

    Treasure your solitude. One day you will long for it.

    Offline CatholicInAmerica

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #12 on: March 15, 2023, 05:28:36 PM »
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  • Please keep me in your prayers.
    Firstly, I will pray for you. I would like you to know that you are never alone. For one you always have Christ. Speak to him, whisper to him your worry’s. This world is temporary, what matters most is the attainment of heaven in the next. If you are alone in the sense that you have family/friends but feel isolated insofar that you are the only Catholic, then remember the words of our Lord: “Blessed are ye when they shall revile you, and persecute you, and speak all that is evil against you, untruly, for my sake:  12 Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is very great in heaven. For so they persecuted the prophets that were before you. ” Matthew 6

    If your loneliness stems from truly being alone, then on the one hand you can either use the solitude and quiet of being alone to increase prayer and to be able to hear the voice of the Lord more clearly by drowning out the distractions of the world. Or you can seek company after Sunday Masses, perhaps a rosary group even. I’m sure you can find even a mobile rosary group (I could potentially add you to mine if you are interested.) 
    Also do not forget: You have Cathinfo. If you ever need to speak with someone I’m sure everyone here including myself would be more than happy to speak with you. 

    You are never alone when you have God. 
    Fear not, for I am with thee: turn not aside, for I am thy God: I have strengthened thee, and have helped thee, and the right hand of my just one hath upheld thee.” Isaiah 41: 10
    Pope St. Pius X pray for us

    Offline 2Vermont

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #13 on: March 15, 2023, 05:31:22 PM »
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  • :pray:
    Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved; but give place unto wrath, for it is written: Revenge is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. (Romans 12:19)

    Offline Bataar

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    Re: Suffering from loneliness
    « Reply #14 on: March 15, 2023, 06:44:17 PM »
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  • I'm pretty much truly alone. I'm 44 years old, no wife or family of my own. My dad and 2 siblings live 300 miles away so I don't get to interact with them very often. I don't really have any good friends. I have a few buddies that I'm able to do stuff with a couple of times a month, but that's it. They're all married and have kids so they don't have time to spend with me. Unless I need to go to the store or something, I'm pretty much home, by myself. Once summer gets here it'll be nice because at least I'll be able to go fishing after work and on weekends.

    Another problem is that I'm a high functioning autistic person. Most people probably wouldn't notice anything odd about me once they get to know me, but it definitely makes this area of life very hard. It's extremely difficult to meet people as my social norms are backward. I need to already know someone before I want to talk to them. I usually do this by interacting with them in some kind of activity and I learn whether or not they're someone I want to know better which makes me want to talk to them and gives me something to talk to them about. If someone's a complete stranger, I have no idea what to talk to them about. For me, unless I'm talking to someone I already care about in some way, the purpose of talking is the exchange of information. If I don't know someone, I don't know if they know anything I need to ask them about, nor do I know if I know something I should inform them about which makes talking pointless. 

    I remember someone suggesting I should ask someone what kind of work they do as a conversation starter. For most people, this is probably a good opener, but the way my brain works, it's not. If this person is a stranger, why do I want to know where they work? How will that information be useful for anything in and of itself? Interrupting someone to ask them for a useless, meaningless bit of information is just . . . . . . . . I can't even describe how wrong and stressful that is. My church doesn't have any kind of social activities so there's no viable way for me to meet anyone.

    Now if it's a person I know and care about in some way, it's completely different. I just need to find a way to get to know something about them before actually trying to converse with them.

    Someone above mentioned prayer and while I do pray (probably not as often as I should), it doesn't help at all. If anything, it makes me feel worse as it will lead me to believe that God may help and when nothing changes or even gets worse, I obviously feel worse than before. Praying feels like calling someone you consider a friend who never answers their phone anymore. You leave them a voicemail and they never call you back.