She doesn't need baptism of desire, and that is not something to count on as if it's a sure thing. Part of qualifying for baptism of desire is that you must do everything in your power to actually be baptized.
Not to worry. She can have anyone, absolutely anyone, baptize her, saying the proper words.
She can go to someone on the street and say "I'll pay you $100 dollars to say 'I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost,' while pouring water over my head."
As for her temptations, no, they aren't a sin. I have had some disgusting images flash across my cranium while praying, not to mention at other times. The devil likes to do that. But I think what spouse is saying is that she had previously desired to remain a virgin and now she is realizing that is not her calling.
Spouse, I am glad you are opening your mind and listening to what God wants for you, but how will you find a Catholic husband in Iran? I strongly doubt I'd be able to find a girl even in America who believes as I do. There are a handful of sedevacantists and they all seem to believe in NFP -- I'm not going that route. However, I have no desire to be married.
Although your marriage would presumably be Catholic, though I still don't know if you are Novus Ordo or what you believe about the crisis today, be aware that it may not be a bed of roses. It may not even remove your lustful thoughts or temptations. Don't look at it as a solution to all your problems. Just look at it as your particular challenge to rise up to.