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However, a similar (or worse) thing happened to me some years back when I tried to get an SSPX priest to a Resistance Catholic in the throes of death.

Was this a younger-generation priest, ordained, say within the last 15 years or so?  I've noticed a disgraceful lack of zeal for souls among many of them.  They are more concerned about organizing activities than in saving souls.

Do you think a sedevacantist priest would have been more willing to go? 

As far as I am aware of there are not any in the local area.  Father McMahon used to be here to help but is now elsewhere.  Father Collins officiated our wedding but he came down from NY for that and we planned it over 6 months in advance.

No, I don't think so. But why complain about the SSPX, when a sedevacantist priest would not be willing either to help your father. You are sedevacantist, correct? 

Has anyone ever called the SSPX asking for a priest to come to give someone Extreme Unction and they instead recommended a local novus ordo priest?

This just happened yesterday in the case of my calling the SSPX VA Seminary asking for a priest to come to see my father in the hospital.

I knew that they had been getting more friendly with the local novus ordo priests but this blew my mind.

This is very troubling. Only four years ago a priest from the Va seminary came to visit my father, who was a non-practicing novus ordo Catholic, at the hospital upon my request.  He was not in danger of dying, but old and had just had major surgery so I felt it was a crucial time for him to be guided back to the Church before it was too late. 
My understanding at the time was that you could rely on an SSPX priest to come when called without hesitation or conditions, and that was exactly what occurred. 

Now the policy seems to have changed, perhaps in reaction to Burbidge (Arlington diocese bishop) making such a big deal about the Society's presence in Front Royal. If this is the case, we are in trouble. Since when does the Society worry about what the novus ordo prelates say about them?  Do they only abide by the rules when called out on them?  

I think the faithful deserve an explanation of their new policy of deferring to the novus ordo for administering sacraments. And if they do believe that all novus ordo priests and sacraments are valid then they have absolutely no business doing what they are doing.  It completely undermines the state of necessity that was proclaimed by the Archbishop.