Electrical problems, such as crazy computer problems, are likely loose or dirty electrical connections, whether it be where the computer connects to the battery terminals (if it does directly), or any connector may need cleaning and adjustment, which can be tedious and requires patience and skill. In very old cars, wire insulation can fail either by cracking and falling apart, especially in places exposed to much heat, or long term vibration wears a hole into the insulation causing a short. 

Most anything can be fixed, it's just a matter of time, cost, and the knowledge and skill of the particular repair man. If they say it can't be fixed, they just don't know how, or think (and could be right) that the cost to fix is higher than another car. That being said, computers can be repaired, rebuilt, or replaced. I don't know the cost, but replacing with an identical used one from a junkyard would be the only option likely less than $1-2k (just a guess).

Your husband should try searching for similar problems with that model of car to see what others have found it out to be, just in case the Honda dealer has troubles figuring it out. Dealers like quick fixes, so if that means just swapping out parts rather than identifying the exact problem and cause, it could cost a lot.

Simple, zero cost, ten minute fix for the master computer. Just ask.

Is your disdain for a "troll" greater than your gratitude to God sending you someone to answer your prayer for a diagnosis/fix?

Did Jesus volunteer and initiate to heal the woman in Luke 8:43-48, or did the woman initiate contact with Jesus so she might be healed? Jesus knew she was ill but He did not heal her until she reached out to him.

Jesus says, "When you see Me, you see the Father in Heaven"

Jesus, also, says to us, "Be like your Father in Heaven"

So, you make an analogy on which you are Our Lord Jesus Christ and other people are the sick who need to be healed? 

I’m praying for you, your family and van.  

If you get a new battery, make sure you check the date.  Many places are selling expired batteries.  

Simple, zero cost, ten minute fix for the master computer. Just ask.

Is your disdain for a "troll" greater than your gratitude to God sending you someone to answer your prayer for a diagnosis/fix?

Or you really have no idea on how to fix her problem?
Someone needs help and this is how you act??

Thank you for all the prayers.  The shop wasn't able to look at our van yesterday but we have an official appointment for this morning.  

For what it's worth, I 've " fixed" GM vehicles that start to show wierd alert lights, even heater blower erractic functioning, just by removing BOTH battery connections for 3 hours.  
As Mark says, those circuit boards are not very robust. Even my Fridgidaire fridge, when it decides to get stuck in defrost mode, I found out you have to hit the light switch 5 x in 6 seconds to reset..so today's amenities are too touchy. I "fixed " quite a few washing machines, dishwashers, simply by pulling the plug for 2 hours. Google is great to find simple tricks, save $.
Hope you find an easy Google solution for dah van.