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Author Topic: Funny Stuff  (Read 404174 times)

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Offline epiphany

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Re: Funny Stuff
« Reply #2970 on: July 23, 2022, 09:20:40 PM »
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  • On The First Day, God Created The Dog...



    God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years."
    The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I'll give you back the other 10?"


    So God agreed.

    On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20-year life span."
    The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?"

    And God agreed.

    On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years."
    The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20 and I'll give back the other 40?"

    And God agreed again.

    On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years."

    But the human said, "Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back? That makes 80, okay?"

    "Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

    So that is why for our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.


    Offline epiphany

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2971 on: July 24, 2022, 09:21:35 PM »
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  • Offline epiphany

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2972 on: July 24, 2022, 09:27:09 PM »
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  • Offline Matthew

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2973 on: July 25, 2022, 02:33:49 AM »
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  • Quote from: epiphany 7/23/2022, 9:20:40 PM
    But the human said, "Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back? That makes 80, okay?"

    "Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

    So that is why for our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

    I definitely remember a version of this joke that had a DONKEY as well.

    I remember in the punchline, that man makes an @$$ of himself for 10 years...
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    Offline Mark 79

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2974 on: July 26, 2022, 11:28:57 PM »
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  • Offline Kazimierz

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2975 on: July 27, 2022, 09:04:25 AM »
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  • ATF is letting in everyone it seems. TFATF - The Fat Association of Tattooed Feminists
    Da pacem Domine in diebus nostris
    Qui non est alius
    Qui pugnet pro nobis
    Nisi  tu Deus noster

    Offline epiphany

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2976 on: July 27, 2022, 09:18:14 PM »
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  • Offline Mark 79

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2977 on: July 28, 2022, 07:09:51 AM »
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  • Offline epiphany

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2978 on: July 30, 2022, 11:20:20 AM »
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  • Offline epiphany

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2979 on: July 30, 2022, 11:24:32 AM »
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  • Offline epiphany

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2980 on: July 30, 2022, 11:32:48 AM »
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  • Offline epiphany

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2981 on: July 30, 2022, 11:33:19 AM »
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  • Offline epiphany

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2982 on: July 30, 2022, 11:35:02 AM »
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  • Offline epiphany

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2983 on: July 30, 2022, 11:35:37 AM »
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  • Offline epiphany

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    Re: Funny Stuff
    « Reply #2984 on: July 30, 2022, 11:36:52 AM »
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