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Author Topic: Changing Attitudes for 1st, 2nd 3rd Babies  (Read 7061 times)

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Changing Attitudes for 1st, 2nd 3rd Babies
« on: July 04, 2013, 09:33:05 PM »
Changing Attitudes for 1st, 2nd & 3rd Babies

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean & discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Swallowing Coins
1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: when second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: when third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

Changing Attitudes for 1st, 2nd 3rd Babies
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2013, 08:04:24 AM »
If this was the confessional, I'd say how quickly (on most days, out of weakness) my thought process went from 1st to 3rd baby, while entirely skipping child #2!  Those people still sane with 12-15 children are definitely in the "saint-to-be" category!


Changing Attitudes for 1st, 2nd 3rd Babies
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2013, 09:47:30 PM »
An incident witnessed between child #15 and Mom.  Mom walks in the room to discover Johnny, age 14 months, eating dead flies off the windowsill.  (Farm country!)  Mom promptly pops one in her own mouth, makes a face and noise of disgust.  End of problem for a small sacrifice.  

Johnny is now 28, recently married, twins on the way!  Mom lives with daughter #8 and is in good health. :baby:  :ready-to-eat:

Changing Attitudes for 1st, 2nd 3rd Babies
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2013, 09:55:39 PM »
Quote from: Dana
If this was the confessional, I'd say how quickly (on most days, out of weakness) my thought process went from 1st to 3rd baby, while entirely skipping child #2!  Those people still sane with 12-15 children are definitely in the "saint-to-be" category!


Children are not the cause of insanity! :really-mad2:
I'd be more inclined to the opposite idea: that children can keep you sane.

Changing Attitudes for 1st, 2nd 3rd Babies
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2013, 09:26:53 AM »
So having more than 12 children makes you crazy?

Why don't you keep your stupid opinions to yourself. Those families are examples for the rest of this pagan society. I guess it would be confusing for a novus ordo.

Makes me very mad.

 :heretic: