I'm in north Idaho and it's pretty much dark at 5:00. It used to be 4:30, but it is getting later to about 5. The other problem for me is that I'm 6'6" tall with a high inseem and size 15 or 16 feet. Finding warm enough winter clothes large enough to fit me is not an easy or affordable task. I was looking for a warm suit to do ice fishing and the cost of that threw me off.

Oh. No.  That’s really difficult to find clothing and shoes.   

Bataar, I will pray for you. I too struggle with loneliness.

You said above that God doesn’t need you… this is true. He doesn’t need any of us. Yet, He made us.

The most mind bending thing to realize is that He wants us and LOVES us.

The Creator of Heaven and Earth loves us and wants us to be with Him face to face… and all this in spite of our iniquities. It is truly a wonderful gift to be alive even though I know how hard this is for you. I love my solitude but I also love spending time with people. Yet if I’m honest with myself some nights I begin to ponder on the majority of people that were subjected to in this post V2 world of ours and I realize that God, Our Mother, and all the angels and Saints are our true family and friends. And unlike the world they are eager to talk to us and spend time with us.

One thing I did the other day that I’ll probably do again soon because it was fun and I desperately wanted to get out of my house for all the reasons you’ve mentioned is I went to a store without the intention to buy anything and pretended to shop until a sales person came up to me and asked if they could help me. I engaged them(which I never do. I hate when sales people do this) and let me tell you I bs’d the first 15-20 minutes looking at the stuff on sale and then shifted the conversation onto the sales person and just talked to them like a friend. Spent 2.5 hours just talking to the guy until he was done with his shift. We closed the store down. Lol. I left the store having spent zero dollars and just enjoyed talking to somebody, a total stranger, for a couple hours and I dang near consider him a friend now. 😆 He had autism, btw, I learned a lot about him. Lol. 

Again, I will pray for you, man. You’re certainly not alone in the battle against loneliness. 

May God and Our Lady bless you!

Bataar, first and foremost, you're a CATHOLIC, are you not?

In all charity, please, try this: drop the autism angle already. You've allowed it to become a case of the tail-wagging-the-dog.

Maybe the diagnosis is useful for specific methods in the education of children, for vocational counseling that maybe someone should work in a back office and not as a salesperson, etc. etc. But when autism becomes a person's self-declared identity, it's a very dangerous thing.

What did people do in all the centuries before some modernist (probably atheist) "professionals" came up with the definition and started categorizing more and more children and adults this way? (Consider that there are lots of parallels between the academics who argue in favor of "neurodiversity" and those who argue in favor of "gender diversity", but that's another topic.) The label becomes a crutch that's more crippling than helpful.

You speak of your brain as if it's somehow separate from you and is what determines your daily beliefs and behavior. No, your brain is just an organ inside your skull. What is you is your SOUL. What determines your thoughts and behavior is your WILL.

Plenty people in this thread have given you advice about how to stay busy during the day. That's about using your WILL to put some of those pointers into practice. Have you changed your habits at all? Have you sincerely asked God to help you change your habits? No need to reply, these are questions for you to consider honestly with yourself.

Plenty of people in this thread have given you spiritual advice about how to ensure that you're putting Our Lord first in your priorities, and how to look to Him for guidance and fortitude. You are the only one who can quietly and humbly reflect on the state of your soul. Others can't do it for you. Look through CathInfo in The Sacred, The Library, etc. Do a web search on a traditional Examen of Conscience, print it out, put it in your pocket, and go over it daily. DECIDE that your "special interests" include what's most necessary in your inner life.

I merely state the autism fact to give people insight into how my brain works and how I think, which is quite different. I can't think of anything to do outside of my house, by myself. One of my problems, that I haven't figured out how to work around is that I'm really, really good in seeing the negative side of things. Someone can suggest something and instantly, I can think of a dozen reasons why the suggestion won't work. I need to be able to do activities around things I find interesting. Yes, I find God and the faith interesting, but there's no way to meet people doing that. I can go make a holy hour at my church and if, while I'm there praying, someone else comes in, I can't exactly go start talking to them in the church. I don't view the church as a valid way to meet people as there are no social activities at churches that foster meeting people. People have suggested I try to start my own group. I have and it didn't go anywhere. I suppose I can continuously email and email and email the priest/pastor repeatedly, but I'm just not that kind of person. After reaching out a few times and getting no response, I dropped the idea. If the church isn't an option, where does one meet other single (men and women) Catholics?

Yes, I know that's not right, but I can't help it. It's how my brain works.

Everyone has natural inclinations, natural ways of thinking and such.  But you need to get outside of your comfort zone and challenge yourself.  If you only do things which are natural for you, then you’ll become stagnant.  Much of the time, what people call loneliness is actually boredom.  You’re looking for a person to fill the boredom, but what your brain is craving is something to do, to learn, to grow.

Also, you need to think about other people, as what you can give (ie listening) rather than what you get out of the interaction. 

You sound like a person who is stuck in a rut.  Analysis paralysis.  Quit thinking and do.  You need to try new things, change up your routine and go explore.  Your brain will adapt.  The famous saying applies to you:  Nothing changes, if nothing changes.  Go make life happen.  God bless.

Being a Catholic means acting not as we want and feel but picking up our cross and following the will of God.

There is a saying of the saints that perfection consists in this:  "To forget oneself" and "To do the will of another rather than one's own".  I highly recommend the book "The Gift of Oneself" by Father Scruvyer.

"Right is right since God is God
And right the day must win
To doubt would be disloyalty
To falter would be sin."
Fr. W. Faber

I have been praying for years to be able to follow God's will. Due to various factors, I don't feel like I am following it. Since God's will for me is still a complete mystery, how do I best follow it? 

I have been praying for years to be able to follow God's will. Due to various factors, I don't feel like I am following it. Since God's will for me is still a complete mystery, how do I best follow it?

I think that my spiritual reading for today was meant for you:

Suffering A Test of Virtue

Suffering increases merit by insuring not only greater purity but also greater earnestness of motive.

It has a bracing influence upon the will, and gives tone and vigor to its exercise.  Difficulties and sufferings bring out manliness and strength of will and nobility of soul.  They try earnestness of purpose.  They are an unmistakable test of solid virtue.  There is beauty and merit in each least aspiration of virtue breathed on the playful wing of joy, but there is greater and more solid merit in the depth and vigor of determination evinced in the practice of virtue under difficulties, temptations and trials.  There is no trial, temptation, or Suffering which cannot be turned into a blessing by the will of a conscious sufferer...

The treasure of holiness lies open to all, and the secret of utilizing these precious treasures consists in turning to our spiritual profit the common routine of everyday duties and the events of Providence.  That which happens to us hour by hour, by God's will, is what is best and most profitable for us. 

Daily we have active or passive means of sanctity offered us.  Active sanctity consists in fulfilling with purity of intention the duties imposed by God, by the Church, by our state of life.  Passive sanctity consists in the loving acceptation of what is painful and repugnant to nature, without heeding our likes and dislikes. If only we utilize the means of holiness thus provide, we shall surely become saints sooner or later.

Patience (Thoughts on the Patient Endurance of Sorrows and Sufferings)

By: Rev. F. X. Lasance

What have you been up to lately?

Thankfully the weather has been getting nicer so I've been able to get out and do some fishing. That's been about it lately. Still haven't been able to come up with many things I want to go do by myself.