I think it's providential that you bumped this thread today and that this is this Sunday's sermon by St. Alphonsus:

Garden Of Mary » Dedicated to our Blessed Mother! » Sixth Sunday After Pentecost – On The Vanity Of The World

It says:

Man expects to content his heart with the goods of this earth; but, howsoever abundantly he may possess them, he is never satisfied. Hence, he always seeks after more of them, and is always unhappy. Oh! happy he who wishes for nothing but God; for God will satisfy all the desires of his heart. “Delight in the Lord, and he will give thee the requests of thy heart.” (Ps. xxxvi. 4.)

I'll pray but I think you need to read the sermon.

I'll pray for you again.  I'm someone who is/was in much the same boat except I'm 40yo.
I've said it before and St. Giles probably just said it better but this is our cross to carry.  The fact that it's something we wanted more than anything in the world is probably why we're not getting it, because if we did God knows we would likely make an idol out of it and end up in Hell because of it.  Plus we are called to sacrifice things we want for love of God who is THE Supreme Good, no mere woman can come close to fulfilling us the way He can.  

DISCLAIMER:  I am NOT necessarily saying that God wants you to be single for life.  That's between you and Him, just stating that it might be the same situation that I'm seeing myself in.  But He at least wants you to carry this cross for now.  

I came to the realization that I'm just meant to be single and maybe you are too (at least for now) and the faster you can make peace with that the better things will go and the struggle won't be nearly as intense, although there will still be pangs of loneliness (which is what I'm sure you're going through again because I recall a couple weeks ago you said things were better but I knew they would likely come back as that's the way this cross is, sometimes you'll be extremely happy to be single, wonder what you even see in modern women as a partner anyway, and have no desire for marriage whatsoever, and then days later it can hit hard again and you want nothing more than to have a companion.)  It's a tough cross but you are being asked to bare it for love of Him (at least for now, maybe for life.)  

What helped me is a Novena to St. Joseph and I asked that if I'm meant to be married that I can find the right woman and if not that I can learn to carry the cross and not be in an almost constant state of depression and despair.  Ask your Guardian Angel to help you as well that you can learn to unite your suffering with Christ.  It went from intense despair with even suicidal thoughts and tendencies to a mild to sometimes moderate struggle after those prayer intentions.  Most days I'm "ok," a few days I'm "good," and only once in a while I'm "not ok" but it's MUCH more tolerable than it was.  

If you want to talk to a guy you can always message me too, we're close in age and in the same social situation.      

After 50 years of life on this earth I personally know of no really happy marriages, honestly.

The ones I know are valiant warriors who are bearing it out despite the personal pain and suffering it causes.

There may be exceptions out there of course, but I'm only talking from personal experience.

Many children bring as many sorrows and sufferings as they bring earthly joys even in the best of circuмstances.

This is not to say that marriage and childbearing are not gifts from God with many joys,

but they are HIGHLY overrated as providers for happiness.

It's common for a spouse to feel acute loneliness in the marriage bed

and for a parent to feel acute loneliness in their living room surrounded by their family

simply because they do not share the same faith (and goals for sanctity)

even if they attend the same church.


This phenomena would be very hard for a single person to imagine

but it is real nonetheless and probably experienced by many at your chapel.


Some of the advantages to single life include:

the ability to think clearly because of a life of silence.


Often in a large family you are not able to complete a sentence much less have a moment of silence to complete a personal thought.


This makes it difficult to think through and process emotions as they arise and respond with reason and grace

much less contemplate and grow in spiritual matters.



There is so much more that can be said...


The "grass is always greener" is very, very true!

After 50 years of life on this earth I personally know of no really happy marriages, honestly.

The ones I know are valiant warriors who are bearing it out despite the personal pain and suffering it causes.

There may be exceptions out there of course, but I'm only talking from personal experience.

Many children bring as many sorrows and sufferings as they bring earthly joys even in the best of circuмstances.

This is not to say that marriage and childbearing are not gifts from God with many joys,

but they are HIGHLY overrated as providers for happiness.

It's common for a spouse to feel acute loneliness in the marriage bed

and for a parent to feel acute loneliness in their living room surrounded by their family

simply because they do not share the same faith (and goals for sanctity)

even if they attend the same church.


This phenomena would be very hard for a single person to imagine

but it is real nonetheless and probably experienced by many at your chapel.


Some of the advantages to single life include:

the ability to think clearly because of a life of silence.


Often in a large family you are not able to complete a sentence much less have a moment of silence to complete a personal thought.


This makes it difficult to think through and process emotions as they arise and respond with reason and grace

much less contemplate and grow in spiritual matters.



There is so much more that can be said...


The "grass is always greener" is very, very true!

Great post, and absolutely true!!!!

I'm in my mid-50s with three adult children.  I have no spouse, no extended family connections, no friends.  Thankfully I'm an introvert so I don't get lonely but every once in a blue moon I get bored.  Then I'll just take on a new interest.  Right now my focus is on updating a house I just bought.  I'm also looking to take a second remote IT job so I can stack coins.  I keep myself busy with work and hobbies.  I agree with the statement that marriage is overrated as a source of personal happiness.  People get married thinking it will be like prom night that lasts 50 years but really it's like 50 years with your parents.  Not much different but maybe less freedom. 

Fr. Girouard once told me "marriage is a school of virtue" and with that I think we can all agree. 

Rather than stacking coins and keeping busy with hobbies, I'd use that extra income from a second job to help the poor at church repair/maintain their house, improve their home garden, cover car maintenance and help them to afford to travel to mass more often than just on sunday, if there's mass available on other days. There's not enough community cooperation and sharing of possessions these days as there was mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles.

Rather than stacking coins and keeping busy with hobbies, I'd use that extra income from a second job to help the poor at church repair/maintain their house, improve their home garden, cover car maintenance and help them to afford to travel to mass more often than just on sunday, if there's mass available on other days. There's not enough community cooperation and sharing of possessions these days as there was mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles.

I'd love to hear more this.  Can you share with us your experiences with working a second job to help the poor?  Do you just pay their bills for them or give them cash?  Not sure how to go about it so would love to hear how you are managing it.  Do you write it off on your taxes and if so how to you do that?  Do you get receipts from the poor people?  Thanks.

Kind of had to chuckle and grimace simultaneously today. During confession, the priest told me I need to spend more time with good, Catholic friends. I definitely wish I could, but I feel that I've had hermitage forced on me.