Question number one. If I did not know this about it being a sin to attend a Mass of a doubtful priest and had been attending (not receiving communion) for the sake of family unity would that be a venial sin or not a sin at all because it is done for the sake of family unity (and so as not to send them over the cliff and completely lose the faith)?
Canon law applies firstly to clerics, because it is ecclesiastical law which they must abide by. It only applies to laymen indirectly, in the sense that clerics are suppose to rule based on the law. Laymen have no obligation to study or know canon law, generally speaking, so your obligation to know the fine details are small. My opinion is, you didn't know, so don't worry about the past; worry about the present and future and educate yourself.Kind of similar to the controversial question posed to +Bp. Williamson about attendance to the NO Mass (but now with respect to the TLM celebrated by a doubtful priest).
I don't want to get into that controversy (because that horse has been beaten to death) but i'll just say 1) the end does not justify the means and 2) Christ told us "He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me." (Matt 10:37)Our obligation to God outweighs any other obligation, family included.Question two. Now that I know this, would it be a mortal sin or would the above extenuating family circuмstances mitigate the culpability? (I have had trad priests say different things on this subject--so I am very confused). Since these are ostensibly Catholic sacraments wouldn't taking this position be schismatic? (Sorry probably more than two questions there...)
My position is that one has the obligation to attend mass/sacraments from a 100% certain priest. If one is not available within 1-2 hours drive, then maybe this guy is all you have? If you have other options, i'd take the more certain route. It's your catholic duty to give God the best you can.
Family circuмstances do not change your obligations and religious duties. When you are at your judgement before God, your family won't be there.
Comment. As for posting information publicly for all to see. Here it is: the priest is Msgr Byrnes of St. Judes near Philadelphia. I don't believe he was conditionally ordained. I could be mistaken, but I believe that is what he said to me a few years ago. He was a very friendly priest and I do not intend to create controversy, but as you said--the faithful have a right to know this (though I imagine this is common knowledge in the SSPX world).
I cannot say for sure he's not a priest, nor can I say for sure he is one. Even the priest himself cannot say he's one for sure, because how does he know the intentions of the "bishops" who "ordained" him? It's truly a mess, exactly as satan wants. My view is they aren't 100% priests until ordained in the old rite. But that's my personal opinion only; I can't and won't push that view on anyone else.