Author Topic: Ideal Age for Marriage (Read 3567 times)

Mithrandylan · « **Reply #15 on:** October 26, 2013, 05:57:39 PM »

Quote from: Zeitun

Quote from: Jaynek
This is a very good point. Because our society is so messed up, it is not very realistic to talk about the ideal. Biologically, men and women should be marrying in their late teens or early 20s. Almost no secular people (and probably not even many trads) are emotionally mature enough for marriage at that age. And few people are financially prepared for marriage then either. The ideal would be for all these factors to come together at the same age and that is not likely in our culture.

Because the world is disordered doesn't mean we Catholics have to surrender to it. No, we must fight against the diabolical tide and do what we know is pleasing to God. This means marrying young enough to have as many babies as He will send us. Delaying marriage for financial reasons of course is morally disordered and likely to lead to pre-marital sex. What couple wants to enter into marriage with that guilt? And it leads to many problems later on with what some call "good girl syndrome" whereby the now-married wife has guilt over pre-marital sex and denies hubby. Where does that lead? To heartache and possibly worse.

I would not say that.

Some sort of financial security is desirable. Otherwise as soon as the honeymoon is over, the wife gets to find a job.

That's not to say that people can't get married if the husband can't support them on his income alone; but if he can't, and could within the foreseeable future, it seems preferable to delay the wedding by a few months.

Jaynek · « **Reply #16 on:** October 26, 2013, 06:00:32 PM »

Quote from: Tiffany

Why is it always 18 for women and not younger? I know state laws vary but The Church allows for younger than 18.

Pregnancy under 18 has a higher risk of complications for mother and baby. From what I have read, medical authorities usually advise delaying pregnancy until 18. But I wouldn't have a problem with a 17 year old marrying, especially if she were well developed and healthy.

Jaynek · « **Reply #17 on:** October 26, 2013, 06:05:27 PM »

Quote from: Mithrandylan

Quote from: Zeitun
Quote from: Jaynek
This is a very good point. Because our society is so messed up, it is not very realistic to talk about the ideal. Biologically, men and women should be marrying in their late teens or early 20s. Almost no secular people (and probably not even many trads) are emotionally mature enough for marriage at that age. And few people are financially prepared for marriage then either. The ideal would be for all these factors to come together at the same age and that is not likely in our culture.

Because the world is disordered doesn't mean we Catholics have to surrender to it. No, we must fight against the diabolical tide and do what we know is pleasing to God. This means marrying young enough to have as many babies as He will send us. Delaying marriage for financial reasons of course is morally disordered and likely to lead to pre-marital sex. What couple wants to enter into marriage with that guilt? And it leads to many problems later on with what some call "good girl syndrome" whereby the now-married wife has guilt over pre-marital sex and denies hubby. Where does that lead? To heartache and possibly worse.

I would not say that.

Some sort of financial security is desirable. Otherwise as soon as the honeymoon is over, the wife gets to find a job.

That's not to say that people can't get married if the husband can't support them on his income alone; but if he can't, and could within the foreseeable future, it seems preferable to delay the wedding by a few months.

Something else to consider is that some couples have better self-control than others. People who have always been chaste tend to be better at preserving this virtue than people who have sinned against it in the past. So there may be less risk to a chaste couple in delaying marriage a bit.

Mabel · « **Reply #18 on:** October 26, 2013, 06:20:29 PM »

Quote from: Tiffany

Why is it always 18 for women and not younger? I know state laws vary but The Church allows for younger than 18.

I'd be thrilled if my daughter were married at 16. I think though, to be married at that age requires a lot of resistance to the values and influence of the world upon teenagers. I'd definitely want a daughter marrying young to have an older and wiser husband who was established enough to have the wisdom and knowledge to guide the marriage.

Unfortunately, compulsory attendance laws for schooling are getting pushed to 18. I think this is a factor, as well. I do think a young lady should have enough education to be able to educate both boys and girls through high school, that way public school is never a temptation.

Cera · « **Reply #19 on:** October 26, 2013, 07:12:18 PM »

Quote from: Jaynek

Quote from: Tiffany
Why is it always 18 for women and not younger? I know state laws vary but The Church allows for younger than 18.

Pregnancy under 18 has a higher risk of complications for mother and baby. From what I have read, medical authorities usually advise delaying pregnancy until 18. But I wouldn't have a problem with a 17 year old marrying, especially if she were well developed and healthy.

I have not seen that research, but I have seen a study that babies born to 15 to 18 year olds are the healthiest. (Shocking, right?) I am not suggesting 15 and 16 year olds should marry, but that was solid research I used in teaching. I agree with earlier posters, God did design young men and women to marry at earlier ages (prior to the so-called sɛҳuąƖ revolution, they did marry much younger than now.) In our disordered society, influenced by the sɛҳuąƖ revolution, they are much less motivated to marry. In addition, our disordered society has prolonged the stage from child to adult.