Author Topic: The Single Life (Read 2804 times)

Hobbledehoy · « **on:** March 22, 2011, 01:13:01 AM »

The single life is rarely discussed by Priests who discourse in sermons and spiritual conferences upon the subject of vocations. For one contemplating what direction of life to take, it is usually either to be espoused unto another Catholic, or enter the Religious life, or (if he is a man) to enter Sacred Orders. The single life is almost always set aside as the subject of private discussion between a Spiritual Director and an individual Catholic that finds himself in circuмstances unfavorable to either marriage or the Religious or Sacred Orders. The reasons for this are sound, because the Sacred Matrimony, the Religious life and Sacred Orders ought to be encouraged, according to the dispositions of the individual Catholic and the sound direction of a good [Canonically fit and trained] Father Confessor.

The questions I have are, 1) whether the single life can be contemplated as a legitimate choice for a young person who may have no impediments that forbid such a one to be married or join the Religious life (or, for men, Sacred Orders), and ought therefore to be presented a possible choice of vocation for youngsters; 2) whether the single life may be a vocation only for those who are unable to marry, or enter the Religious life or Sacred Orders; and finally 3) whether it can be said that the single life is not a vocation at all but a certain deficiency or failure, though not necessarily implying fault on the part of the individual person.

I would like your thoughts on the matter.

NOTE: The "single life" discussed here is not the one that world confuses for a life of unrestrained and egocentric licentiousness and apathy, but a life that would absolutely entail perpetual chastity (not necessarily by virtue of a vow, though certainly by virtue of natural law and the Baptismal vows we all have made), and the cultivation of the spiritual life according to the dispositions of each individual, the inspirations of holy grace, and the counsel and tutelage of a good Father Confessor.

Jehanne · « **Reply #1 on:** March 22, 2011, 06:58:03 AM »

Are you a man or a woman? Okay, you are a man, so you can be single for a while. Now, if you are a woman, the older you get, the more unlikely it is that you are going to find a mate. So, that's something to consider. As for the religious life, I think that a lot of people go into it with a lot of idealism, and then when they get older, maybe they have regrets due to loss of faith, secularism, modernism within the Church, etc., perhaps even become bitter. Something to at least be aware of.

Oremus · « **Reply #2 on:** March 22, 2011, 08:35:18 AM »

I am a 33 year old male and I have not been in a relationship since 1998. I was engaged at the time but when I deployed to Bosnia with the Army, she left me for another man. Ever since then, I told myself that I would never allow myself to go through that torment again. I know that there are decent women in the world who would never do that, but I'm not willing to take a chance.

I've thought about becoming a priest or religious, but 1. I would have to find a way to get rid of my college loan debt and 2. I've only been a Catholic for 2 years and would need more time to discern.

I've not had intercourse since 1998 and since I became a Catholic in 2009, I have been chaste (except for a few moments of weakness).

I'm sharing my experience with you because I don't know which of your categories I would fit into and to point out that I don't think it's that simple to categorize these things.

1. It sounds like you're suggesting that marriage or religious life are the only real choices someone has, and being single is for those that aren't cut out for marriage or religious. I would argue and suggest that being single is as strong as the other two.

2. Same as 1.

3. Definitely don't think it's a because of a deficiency or anything like that, but I'm biased

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Raoul76 · « **Reply #3 on:** March 22, 2011, 10:42:12 AM »

(1) Yes.

(2) That's the same question as number 1 but in reverse, the answer is "No."

(3) I don't know if I'd call being single a "vocation." Your career is your vocation; being celibate is just a virtue. The answer is "No."

Which religious order did the Virgin Mary belong to again?

Also, the way I look at it is that in any other time in history, I'd have been a monk or priest. But I am not going to be a priest in Vatican II or in SSPX, and I don't fit as a priest at CMRI, I have a different political outlook.

I consider myself a "priest in reserve." I'm staying unmarried in hopes that maybe by the time I'm 70 or 80, after the Chastisement, if God chooses to use me, I can be a monk or priest.

One question I have on this topic -- If you're married and want to become a priest, is there any way to do so? Can you nullify your marriage somehow with the consent of your wife?

Matthew · « **Reply #4 on:** March 22, 2011, 11:12:02 AM »

I think that used to happen during the Middle Ages -- man marries woman, they raise a family, kids move away, and in their "empty nest" state they split up and each prepare for death in a monastery/convent in lieu of playing bingo, watching re-runs all day long, and going to Vegas once a year.

I don't know what the requirements are -- I'm sure one's children have to be grown AND able to support themselves.

And I don't know that the man ever became a PRIEST -- probably more like a monk.