Read an Interview with Matthew, the owner of CathInfo

Author Topic: Long Term Marriages  (Read 1957 times)

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Offline poche

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Long Term Marriages
« on: September 18, 2013, 04:39:19 AM »
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  • The Kaufmans star in “The Everyday Effect" Swiffer commercials, drawn from the three-minute video here. He's 91 ("I'm older than my young bride here. By about four months"), she's 90, and they've been married 44 years. Altogether the videos have been viewed about 10 million times on YouTube.

    “They’re the couple everybody wants to be -- and that’s really them,” their daughter Myra says in the commercial. Myra was the one who offered them up to a casting agent friend for the commercial. She knew they were perfect.

    “We really have a remarkable marriage at this point in our lives,” Lee says. “Considering the rocky situation we had before we met, we made such a lovely life for ourselves.”

    Both were widowed in their 40s. Lee had two kids—a girl and a boy—and Morty had four—three boys and a girl.

    They met when Lee taught Morty's son Scotty in a summer reading course.

    “Morty came in and we shortly stopped talking about study and got busy with ourselves. I never expected a parent conference to turn out to be a date," she says.

    The next time Morty saw her, he cut right to the chase. “I said, 'I didn’t come to speak about Scotty—would you care to go out to dinner with me?'”

    But don’t worry. “In spite of the fact that this took a turn with just the two of us, Scotty did learn to read,” Morty says.

    Within a year Lee and Morty were married and combining their two families, creating their own version of the Brady Bunch in Valley Stream, N.Y., just outside New York City. While the kids were growing up, Lee worked as a teacher and then helped the kids with all the things kids need help with: homework, dinner, getting ready for bed.

    While Lee was handling kids and chores, Morty was working late at a local pharmacy, so their evenings have always been their time together. That has been the key to making their marriage last: always finding—and cherishing—time together.

    “We went to the theater and went to the opera,” Morty adds. “We ate.”

    “Morty’s good at eating--very good at eating,” Lee jokes.

    Eating has apparently turned into a bit more of a challenge now with their newfound fame.

    “We went in to breakfast this morning in a diner,” he said. “There were 15 women at a table and one recognized us and then the rest of them took notice. Before you knew it, we were being overwhelmed. They’re very nice, they mean well, but you couldn’t eat your sandwich.”

    Though their lives are a little different after the commercials, it’s still the everyday things that make their marriage so successful.

    “You want each person to know they are being loved and the love is split up between the two of you,” Morty says. “You’ve gotta know that you’re valued.”

    To which Lee says simply, “Nicely put, Morty.”

    Morty, a notorious lover of sleep, says that he never goes to bed at night without saying, “Good night dear, I love you.”

    And Lee never misses saying it back.

    http://homes.yahoo.com/blogs/spaces/lee-morty-90-olds-behind-swiffer-viral-videos-201640354.html

    Apparently the couple on Tv advertizing that swiffer thing are a real couple. I think it might be a good idea to look at long term marriages and see what we can learn from them.

    Offline poche

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    Long Term Marriages
    « Reply #1 on: November 09, 2013, 12:39:00 AM »
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  • A couple in Los Angeles prove romance hasn't diminished in the 21st century, celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary this week.

    In 1938, Morrie Markoff, 99, met his future wife Betty, 97, and the two have never looked back. L.A. Downtown News reports that the couple married the same year, and now, with two children, five grandchildren and two great-great grandchildren, they couldn't be happier.

    Here are some lessons about love from the Markoffs' seven-plus decades together:

    1.) When Betty first met Morrie, her friend Dorothy told her he was not the "marrying kind," and she was only getting her "hopes up."

    Lesson Learned: Obviously, don't listen to Dorothy. Furthermore, you shouldn't base your decisions on other people's opinions, rather what you feel is right for you.

    2.) Betty and Morrie met at Betty's cousin's wedding. Morrie was in town for the event, and seated at dinner between Betty and another beautiful woman named Rosa. Though Rosa was wealthy and well educated, Morrie jokes he chose Betty because she "ate less." Betty does not approve of this comment.

    Lesson Learned: First off, weddings are still great places to meet people, so start cozying up to your friends who are engaged. Second, avoid weight jokes. Lastly, Rosa might still be available
    3.) It took Morrie 10 months of writing letters before Betty finally agreed to marry him.

    Lesson Learned: Better start getting concise with those texts.

    4.) Morrie doesn't like to be "fancy," and he and Betty often get lunch at the Department of Water and Power cafeteria.

    Lesson Learned: Extravagance isn't always necessary for contentment. Also, time to explore the perks of utilities. We're planning to get coffee at The Gas Company tomorrow.

    .) Betty cooks "the way she was taught in high school: a protein, a starch, a vegetable and a salad."

    Lesson Learned: We knew there was a reason for Home-Ec besides eating cake: a little bit of everything is the way to go.

    6.) The Markoffs live in Los Angeles, and take the bus around town. They walk together daily, and in the past, they trekked 3.2 miles almost every morning for four decades.

    Lesson Learned: You CAN be a pedestrian in L.A.! Exercise serves the heart, mind and body.

    7.) Betty says love can be difficult and that when things get rough, people today tend to give up too quickly.

    Lesson Learned: Hold off at least a couple days before you change your relationship status on Facebook.

    8.) Betty and Morrie have travelled around the world, all documented in thousands of photographs shot by Morrie.

    Lesson Learned: Instagram everything!

    9.) The Markoffs' son Steve says his parents are "honest to a fault, and completely stubborn."

    Lesson Learned: If you want the house kept at a certain temperature, don't back down. A little arguing makes life interesting.

    10.) Betty believes the key to love is listening. "You have to speak each other's language," she says.

    Lesson Learned: Always remember before you respond that autocorrect could have come into play.

    http://shine.yahoo.com/author-blog-posts/want-stay-married-75-years-couple-did-173500009.html


    Offline Matthew

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    « Reply #2 on: November 09, 2013, 07:09:47 AM »
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  • Quote
    two children, five grandchildren and two great-great grandchildren


    First of all, I assuming they meant "two great grandchildren" since they didn't mention any in that generation (if they had 0 great-grandchildren, they'd never have any great-great-grandchildren!)

    This isn't a very impressive family tree. They apparently were ahead of their time when it comes to de-prioritizing children.

    My wife's grandmother (R.I.P.) was about their age (she died in her mid-nineties) and she had EIGHT CHILDREN. As you know, it's more work to have 8 children than 8 grandchildren. If you had just 3 children, you could easily end up with 8 grandchildren, and just as easily end up with 16 great-grandchildren. See the pattern?

    So they had TWO children -- back when my grandparents had their 8 children, my other grandparents had their 5 children, and my wife's grandparents had their 8 children...it was still normal back then to have a "natural family size".

    At the very least, I would hesitate to hold up this couple as some kind of model.

    It looks like this couple was about 70 years ahead of their time! Most couples today opt for precisely 2 children, sometimes spilling over to 3 (if, for example, they end up with 2 girls and the dad wanted a son)

    And for those of you wondering why I'm assuming bad things about this couple -- I note that their two children followed in their parents' footsteps. If the couple in the story constantly lamented their infertility (note: why didn't they adopt? I'm sure it was a heck of a lot easier back in the 30's and 40's) and taught their children well how precious little lives are, I'm sure their children would have had more than a below-average amount. (Note: their kids' generation -- Baby Boomers -- averaged 3-4 children.)

    Let's put it this way -- I know a family where the father & mother couldn't have as many children as they wanted -- but they did a good job teaching their children how valuable babies are. Even though they only have 2 married (and thus "producing") children, they're already up to 11 grandchildren!
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    Offline Viva Cristo Rey

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    « Reply #3 on: November 09, 2013, 07:42:54 AM »
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  • Yes, it was easier to adopt kid in 30s and 40s.  My grandparents took in several kids who needed a family.  And without paperwork.
    To live with the Saints in Heaven is all bliss and glory....To live with the saints on Earth is just another story!  (unknown)

    Offline MrsZ

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    « Reply #4 on: November 09, 2013, 02:30:18 PM »
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  • nt


    Offline Marlelar

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    « Reply #5 on: November 09, 2013, 03:14:46 PM »
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  • Quote from: Matthew
    Quote
    two children, five grandchildren and two great-great grandchildren

    This isn't a very impressive family tree. They apparently were ahead of their time when it comes to de-prioritizing children.


    How do you know there were not "technical difficulties"?  She might have had EIGHT miscarriages, or diseased organs which made it impossible for her to have more.  Perhaps he had erectile dysfunction or low sperm count and they were lucky to even get two.

    Don't assume that just because someone has a small family by your personal definition that they didn't want more, it is an injustice.

    Marsha

    Offline poche

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    « Reply #6 on: November 09, 2013, 10:44:28 PM »
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  • Quote from: Matthew
    Quote
    two children, five grandchildren and two great-great grandchildren


    First of all, I assuming they meant "two great grandchildren" since they didn't mention any in that generation (if they had 0 great-grandchildren, they'd never have any great-great-grandchildren!)

    This isn't a very impressive family tree. They apparently were ahead of their time when it comes to de-prioritizing children.

    My wife's grandmother (R.I.P.) was about their age (she died in her mid-nineties) and she had EIGHT CHILDREN. As you know, it's more work to have 8 children than 8 grandchildren. If you had just 3 children, you could easily end up with 8 grandchildren, and just as easily end up with 16 great-grandchildren. See the pattern?

    So they had TWO children -- back when my grandparents had their 8 children, my other grandparents had their 5 children, and my wife's grandparents had their 8 children...it was still normal back then to have a "natural family size".

    At the very least, I would hesitate to hold up this couple as some kind of model.

    It looks like this couple was about 70 years ahead of their time! Most couples today opt for precisely 2 children, sometimes spilling over to 3 (if, for example, they end up with 2 girls and the dad wanted a son)

    And for those of you wondering why I'm assuming bad things about this couple -- I note that their two children followed in their parents' footsteps. If the couple in the story constantly lamented their infertility (note: why didn't they adopt? I'm sure it was a heck of a lot easier back in the 30's and 40's) and taught their children well how precious little lives are, I'm sure their children would have had more than a below-average amount. (Note: their kids' generation -- Baby Boomers -- averaged 3-4 children.)

    Let's put it this way -- I know a family where the father & mother couldn't have as many children as they wanted -- but they did a good job teaching their children how valuable babies are. Even though they only have 2 married (and thus "producing") children, they're already up to 11 grandchildren!

    I don't think it is fair to rush to judgement about the number of children. There is a thread in cite.catholique where the couple has one child. They want more but they are medically unable. There is a strong temptation to use IVF, which is not approved by the Catholic Church. She was asking prayers of the people for them to make the right decision. She wrote that the temptation for them to do the wrong thing is very strong.

    Offline Capt McQuigg

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    « Reply #7 on: November 13, 2013, 01:58:18 PM »
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  • Matthew is right on!

    My grandmother on my mother's side had 13 children.

    My grandmother on my father's side had 8 children.

    Both sets of grandparents had over 40 grandchildren.

    What kind of families are you trying to highlight, Poche?

    Poche, they may say different things but the end result of the novus ordo and planned parenthood is the same.  That result is smaller families.


    Offline Capt McQuigg

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    « Reply #8 on: November 13, 2013, 01:59:59 PM »
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  • Quote from: Marlelar
    Quote from: Matthew
    Quote
    two children, five grandchildren and two great-great grandchildren

    This isn't a very impressive family tree. They apparently were ahead of their time when it comes to de-prioritizing children.


    How do you know there were not "technical difficulties"?  She might have had EIGHT miscarriages, or diseased organs which made it impossible for her to have more.  Perhaps he had erectile dysfunction or low sperm count and they were lucky to even get two.

    Don't assume that just because someone has a small family by your personal definition that they didn't want more, it is an injustice.

    Marsha


    And the kids had the very same problems?

    It really brings to mind the comment one of the sedevacantist bishops once said.  At your average novus ordo church, the normal family size is two kids.  Imagine that?  Every couple has fertility problems.  

    Offline poche

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    « Reply #9 on: November 13, 2013, 10:47:04 PM »
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  • Quote from: Capt McQuigg
    Matthew is right on!

    My grandmother on my mother's side had 13 children.

    My grandmother on my father's side had 8 children.

    Both sets of grandparents had over 40 grandchildren.

    What kind of families are you trying to highlight, Poche?

    Poche, they may say different things but the end result of the novus ordo and planned parenthood is the same.  That result is smaller families.

    I am trying to highlight long term marriages. I think it is wise for us to look at those couples who have been married to each other for long periods of time and see what we could learn from them. By the way long term marriage and planned parent contraceptive mentality don't go together.  

    Offline poche

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    « Reply #10 on: November 22, 2013, 05:05:17 AM »
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  •  John Betar and his wife Ann have been married for 81 years, which according to Worldwide Marriage Encounter, they are America's longest married couple.

    The couple lived in a close-knit Syrian community in Bridgeport, Connecticut when Ann's father made plans to marry her when she was just 17 to a man 20 years her senior. Ann didn't like that notion since she was already in love with John, the boy across the street.

    The pair hatched a plan to elope and on a cool fall day they took off in John's Ford Roadster and married on Nov. 25, 1932 in Harrison, New York.

    Their families were quite upset with Ann's aunt predicting their marriage wouldn't last.

    But last it did, for 81 years.

    John became a grocer, then a realtor as their family grew to include three children, two daughters and a son.  Sadly, their son and a daughter have already passed. The oldest daughter is now 80 years old.

    Despite the sorrow of losing children, they have 14 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren.

    The couple continues to laugh and joke in their waterfront home on Long Island Sound.

    John said his secret to the long-married life is to "always agree with your wife."

    Last February, a Christian group dedicated to preserving marriage traveled from San Bernadino, California, to Fairfield, Connecticut to present the Betars with an award and gifts. The group, Worldwide Marriage Encounter, says that the Betars are the country's longest-married couple. They based their conclusion on submissions sent from around the country.

    Despite their conclusion there are 13 couples in the world who have been married longer, of which six are in the U.S.  The longest married couple in the world is a couple from the U.K., who have been married 88 years this December.

    http://catholic.org/hf/family/story.php?id=53261


    Offline TKGS

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    « Reply #11 on: November 22, 2013, 08:23:28 AM »
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  • What is most interesting about this topic is the fact that what is supposed to be the norm is now newsworthy.

    This topic is like publishing an article in the springtime that is in awe that it is getting warmer, leaves are appearing on trees, and the snow is melting.

     

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