This is hard to articulate. If you really want an answer I will probably have to private message you, or we need to talk on the phone. I have been watching people for years and see that most of the time people do not try to understand where you are coming from they just interpret things from their own perspective. It is mainly the feeling of having your heart broken over and over again and the double standards of society. We all want God to some level, but we keep God from us because we are harder on others in this life than God is on us.
I am trying to understand why Taylor Swift is supposedly speaking to truths that are not allowed to be expressed. I can understand the issue of having one's heart broken over and over. It does happen, sometimes to traditional Catholics too, mainly because it's difficult to find a good and moral person that can a potential spouse. And society does have double standards, but society, in reality, IMO, doesn't have the standards that God has. We are pulled in different directions, but which will we choose? God's path, or the path of the world?
I don't know if you saw the video that Viva posted a page or two back on this thread, which features a Taylor Swift video which is really quite alarming in it's wokeness and immodesty. It's almost as if Taylor Swift is trying to be the new, younger version of the pop star called Madonna, which is quite sad. I do hope that Taylor Swift changes her course. She needs prayers.