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On bad thoughts: sermon on the eighteenth Sunday after Pentecost

By St Alphonsus de Liguori  

10. Above all, in order to avoid bad thoughts, men must abstain from looking at women, and females must be careful not to look at men. I repeat the words of Job which I have frequently quoted: “I made a covenant with my eyes, that I should not so much as think upon a virgin.” (Job 31:1.) He says that he made a covenant with his eyes that he would not think. What have the eyes to do with thinking? The eyes do not think; the mind alone thinks. But he had just reason to say that he made a covenant with his eyes that he would not think on women; for St Bernard says, that through the eyes the darts of impure love, which kills the soul, enter into the mind. Hence the Holy Ghost says: “Turn away thy face from a woman dressed up.” (Sir 9:8) It is always dangerous to look at young persons elegantly dressed; and to look at them purposely, and without a just cause, is, at least, a venial sin.

The Saint says both men and women should avoid looking at each other.


Even going so far for men that even looking at a dressed up young lady is at least a venial sin.

Would this include women you don't find attractive dressed up? Frankly in practice it is very difficult to avoid looking as at nice looking people, yet if it's a venial sin then custody of the eyes must be practised.

When should you look at someone? Obviously the first time you see them it can't be helped, but it means we shouldn't look a 2nd time without a just reason?

Anyone here have any practical advice or helpful information on this subject. It's also very difficult with secular women when you are out and about doing stuff.

He’s talking about looking at a woman in such a manner as her appearance steers your thoughts to lust. He doesn’t mean you have to not look at a little more than 50% of the population!  If you find a certain woman inspires you to lust, avoid her as much as is reasonable. Don’t focus your eyes on her without reason. We are to take custody of our MINDS, and the eyes and ears will follow. 
It doesn’t mean you can’t look at a woman in a purely platonic or professional manner. If you find you cannot control your thoughts when around a particular woman, then you must not be around her. If this is a problem for you to function morally and normally in mixed company, talk with a good priest. He may send you to a contemplative monastery or a hermit colony!  
The same goes for women who might not be able to keep their eyes off the men. Pray for self control and a pure mind. Keep away from men.
If you find this is how the enemy tempts you, by causing you to think in terms of sex whenever you see an attractive person, that’s not normal. You need help.
P.S. Women don’t like men who look them over, mentally undress them, and think of how it would be to “sleep” with them!  If you do this to an honorable woman, she’ll be repulsed by you, think you’re a dirty-minded, creepy, sex fiend!  She’ll warn all her girl friends and tell her father, brother, or husband about you. Then you’ll have opportunity to do penance from your hospital bed.  
A woman who stakes out and stalks guys is even worse, She’s cheap, tasteless, tawdry, a tease, and a slut. 
In short, both sexes must take command of their thoughts and keep their minds elevated to Heaven instead of the gutter.  

Yet that's not what he said but; "It is always dangerous to look at young persons elegantly dressed; and to look at them purposely, and without a just cause, is, at least, a venial sin."

The context of what St. Alphonsus is saying is lust.  Please don't cause scruples.  What Seraphina said makes sense.

Define elegantly dressed in St. Alphonus day?  What were women wearing in the country he was living in?   I looked it up and most dresses back then had low necklines.

On a side note: if a man doesn't look at a women's face while talking then probably the women will think he is weak.