Author Topic: Are looks important in choosing a mate? (Read 16637 times)

MaterDominici · « **Reply #20 on:** August 08, 2014, 03:46:52 PM »

Quote from: InfiniteFaith

I think that everybody, both single and married, appreciates a good looking member of the opposite sex when they see one.

It's your first mistake to presume that everyone puts the same amount of importance on the same things that you do.

Matthew · « **Reply #21 on:** August 08, 2014, 03:55:12 PM »

More wisdom from the South:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/embed/bLhhkNAgFBI[/youtube]

Matthew · « **Reply #22 on:** August 08, 2014, 03:59:21 PM »

There's something fundamentally wrong with the very CONCEPTS of "hot" and "sexy".

It's emphasis on these concepts that causes things like bad marriages and other bad things.

If people would focus on the OTHER things -- family, culture, compatibility, religion, personality, etc -- you'd have a lot less problems in the world.

Notice I'm not saying "attraction for you personally" -- that's a different issue completely. I'm talking about that pop-culture, all your guy friends agree, "she's hot" phenomenon.

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #23 on:** August 08, 2014, 04:08:23 PM »

Quote from: Mabel

If you are worried about that, you don't need to think about getting married. You need to think about getting over yourself and your vanity. No woman in their right mind would want to marry a man who talks like that. Secondly, most guys think they are better looking in their own minds than in reality. How do I know that? I know and have known so many unattractive men who are holding out for a pretty wife. They are all 32-45, single, and have passed up all the good Catholic girls, in order to not settle for less.

You should be asking yourself how you can deal with the faults that are making you an undesirable match for a Catholic wife because that is why you haven't found one.

This is not vanity. It is reality. It actually took me some time to figure this out.

The reality is that there are good looking people, and there are not so good looking people. I think this is how God created things.

Also, the reality is, that people want to be with people who are good looking.

It actually makes me mad that you say "get over yourself". This is not about me dealing with issues of vanity. I realize that I am a good looking man. This is the reality of things. I also realize that I like good looks. So naturally, I aim for someone who is also good looking.

The fact that you and some others have made this into a vanity issue tells me that you are probably jealous or even envious. Now, ask yourself this, how does that feel now that I just said that about you? Does it make you angry? This is exactly how I feel when you say that I need to "get over yourself". Its not about that. I am a good looking man, and no different than everyone else, when it comes to wanting someone who is good looking.

InfiniteFaith · « **Reply #24 on:** August 08, 2014, 04:09:38 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

Quote from: InfiniteFaith
Then people tell me I should go for someone who is more average. But the fact that I know I am good looking, makes me feel like I am settling for less. And yes, I know that sounds awful.

What do you think?

I think we found the key to your problem -- why you're still single. And until you "get over yourself", you're likely to remain that way.

There are few guys that consider themselves "average". Everyone thinks he's hot stuff, even if he's decidedly average or even below-average.

And looks aren't everything -- for a man, or a woman. If you're as studly as you think you are, you still might have a crappy personality (stuck up, proud, etc.) or have other issues (selfish, lazy, unmotivated, etc.)

How do you know that this is an issue of vanity?

Is it vanity when a good looking person realizes they are good looking?

I actually take offense to you saying that I need to "get over myself". I certainly do not see it this way.