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Author Topic: Wife defrosts meat on the floor  (Read 6335 times)

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Offline Ladislaus

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Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
« Reply #105 on: June 12, 2025, 06:28:49 AM »
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  • Less than a year.

    Croix already having marital issues? :laugh1:

    I didn't know you permitted meat in your home.

    Offline Ladislaus

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #106 on: June 12, 2025, 06:37:24 AM »
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    So, my hunch was correct, that she is not a traditional Catholic at all. Someone who says a priest knows nothing about marriage is basically saying the Catholic Church knows nothing about marriage. She does not have the Catholic Faith.

    Unfortunately, at this point you really don't have any good options.

    Meh, someone can say that in a relative sense, not an absolute sense.  It's true that there are many ways in which a priest knows very little about the details of marriage.  As with all things related to moral and pastoral theology (vs. dogmatic), there are the principles, and then almost more importantly the application of those principles to concrete situations.

    While your "hunch" may have been correct in this case, it means nothing.  There are just as many Traditional Catholics who might say (and have said) the same thing.

    So, for instance, if I were a priest counseling a drug addict, I might know the moral theology principles regarding the immorality of drug use, and perhaps might know some theoretical stuff about dealing with additions, but on another level since I've never been hooked on drugs, one might rightly say that I know "nothing" about being addicted to drugs.  I would not dispute that, nor would I consider someone who said that to be "non-Catholic".

    Similarly, a priest would know "nothing" about what it's like to raise 6, 8, 10 children ... on one level.  While the principles don't change, their application can, AND in some cases it can even become a question of not just raising 10 children but of raising THESE 10 children.  In every family there can be wildly different dynamics depending on the mix of temperaments among the children, where some of them might have various different health conditions or mental challenges, etc.  Even if I were raising 10 children, someone might rightly say that I know nothing about raising 10 children ... where 2 or 3 are autistic, and 1 even confined to a wheelchair where he must be spoon-fed, have his diapers changed, etc. (I've known one family in this situation and can't imainge how difficult it must be for them).

    As I've seen so often here, far too many Trads don't understand that prudence is considered the queen of all the virtues for a very good reason, since it governs the practice of the other virtues.  That's why some people feel some kind of absolute obligation to correct and rebuke every sinner they run into and get scrupulous if they don't ... not realizing that this obligation applies only under certain conditions and it can even be that in some circuмstances you'd be required NOT to rebuke the sinner (where it would do more harm toward their eventual conversion to rebuke them).


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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #107 on: June 12, 2025, 07:43:17 AM »
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  • .

    So, my hunch was correct, that she is not a traditional Catholic at all. Someone who says a priest knows nothing about marriage is basically saying the Catholic Church knows nothing about marriage. She does not have the Catholic Faith.

    Unfortunately, at this point you really don't have any good options.
    In a relative sense, is she wrong? Or is it now a sin to criticize a priest?

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #108 on: June 12, 2025, 08:06:00 AM »
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  • OP, this is definitely unfortunate, but I think the main issue is her OCD.  Therefore, I think she first needs to get professional counseling for that alone.  Perhaps with someone who specializes in it.  I think that if she got help with this, any marital issues would improve.  One step at a time. 

    Btw, I think you have been quite the sport in this thread.  God Bless you.
    Thanks. I agree. I want to get her help because it's anxiety issue. I think I need to approach her ocd problem with a little more sensitivity. 

    Online Everlast22

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #109 on: June 12, 2025, 08:20:22 AM »
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  • Thanks. I agree. I want to get her help because it's anxiety issue. I think I need to approach her ocd problem with a little more sensitivity.
    So her anxiety is a catalyst for her leaving you? 

    To be honest, if I had a dime every time a woman today said she has "anxiety" I'd be a wealthy man. 

    I don't buy that, man. We all have vices and quirks, but this is whole thing is just her manipulating you. Period. I understand the child thing, and I understand, this may be your cross. What she is doing is wrong, OCD/anxiety or not.


    Offline Godefroy

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #110 on: June 12, 2025, 08:30:15 AM »
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  • So her anxiety is a catalyst for her leaving you?

    To be honest, if I had a dime every time a woman today said she has "anxiety" I'd be a wealthy man.

    I don't buy that, man. We all have vices and quirks, but this is whole thing is just her manipulating you. Period. I understand the child thing, and I understand, this may be your cross. What she is doing is wrong, OCD/anxiety or not.
    Agreed. You need to approach this with less sensitivity not more. 

    Jokingly offer to buy her germ detecting spectacles on Amazon. Your relationship needs a good injection of humour 

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #111 on: June 12, 2025, 09:14:59 AM »
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  • If OP is correct about his wife not having a secular background and being a generally faithful traditional Catholic, it's unlikely that her anxiety is a the fake kind of anxiety advertised on by social media influencers who have anxiety over the wrong flavored shot used in their starbucks drink.

    Offline Mithrandylan

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #112 on: June 12, 2025, 09:19:37 AM »
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  • So her anxiety is a catalyst for her leaving you?

    To be honest, if I had a dime every time a woman today said she has "anxiety" I'd be a wealthy man.

    I don't buy that, man. We all have vices and quirks, but this is whole thing is just her manipulating you. Period. I understand the child thing, and I understand, this may be your cross. What she is doing is wrong, OCD/anxiety or not.
    .
    The post-partum question rears its ugly head again here. I know women who have had debilitating, inexplicable anxiety in the post-partum period. Deeply physiologically rooted anxiety. Daily panic attack anxiety (doesn't even sound like OP's wife is that bad). 
    .
    You could be right, but there's not the evidence to suggest you are. OP hasn't even been married a year and most of that year his wife has been pregnant and now she's post-partum. Way more evidence needed to support such a cynical perspective of his wife.
    "Be kind; do not seek the malicious satisfaction of having discovered an additional enemy to the Church... And, above all, be scrupulously truthful. To all, friends and foes alike, give that serious attention which does not misrepresent any opinion, does not distort any statement, does not mutilate any quotation. We need not fear to serve the cause of Christ less efficiently by putting on His spirit". (Vermeersch, 1913).


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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #113 on: June 12, 2025, 09:21:25 AM »
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  • Tradwife memes don't tell you about the post-partum period, guys. YMMV, but you might be wondering where your wife went after she has a baby. 

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #114 on: June 12, 2025, 09:22:48 AM »
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  • Throwing this out there.  I don't think being harder on this woman will make things better.

    OCD and Control in Relationships - How To Deal With Triggers?


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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #115 on: June 12, 2025, 09:27:04 AM »
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  • If OP is correct about his wife not having a secular background and being a generally faithful traditional Catholic, it's unlikely that her anxiety is a the fake kind of anxiety advertised on by social media influencers who have anxiety over the wrong flavored shot used in their starbucks drink.
    Her anxiety, regardless of what it is, is not an excuse to threaten leaving him over certain trivial issues like this. This is not something a traditional Catholic Woman would even THINK of doing. She's not a traditional Catholic. I don't care what church she goes to, or what dresses she wears.

    I would have to be a fly on the wall to know what's objectively going on...

    And from the info he gave, sounds like she's the alpha type, and he's the of the "priest" husband personality type. 


    Offline Mithrandylan

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #116 on: June 12, 2025, 09:37:00 AM »
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  • Her anxiety, regardless of what it is, is not an excuse to threaten leaving him over certain trivial issues like this. This is not something a traditional Catholic Woman would even THINK of doing. She's not a traditional Catholic. I don't care what church she goes to, or what dresses she wears.

    I would have to be a fly on the wall to know what's objectively going on...

    And from the info he gave, sounds like she's the alpha type, and he's the of the "priest" husband personality type.
    .
    The point isn't that she is excused from those threats because of the anxiety, the point is that she may be less rational than usual (and women are always less rational than men already) because of hormonal interference.
    .
    OP wants to solve that problem. Telling him that his wife is his enemy, or that he just needs to rule her with an iron fist, is not going to solve that problem.  
    .
    Never once in the history of CI have any of the marriage counsellors on here been able to produce a single real-life example where these kinds of problems have been solved with that kind of approach. These aren't questions of doctrine or theology. Your wife isn't someone on the Internet you're in a debate with.
    "Be kind; do not seek the malicious satisfaction of having discovered an additional enemy to the Church... And, above all, be scrupulously truthful. To all, friends and foes alike, give that serious attention which does not misrepresent any opinion, does not distort any statement, does not mutilate any quotation. We need not fear to serve the cause of Christ less efficiently by putting on His spirit". (Vermeersch, 1913).

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #117 on: June 12, 2025, 09:37:44 AM »
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    The post-partum question rears its ugly head again here. I know women who have had debilitating, inexplicable anxiety in the post-partum period. Deeply physiologically rooted anxiety. Daily panic attack anxiety (doesn't even sound like OP's wife is that bad).
    .
    You could be right, but there's not the evidence to suggest you are. OP hasn't even been married a year and most of that year his wife has been pregnant and now she's post-partum. Way more evidence needed to support such a cynical perspective of his wife.
    The OP mentioned that there was some evidence of these OCD issues prior to marriage.  It may be that the pregnancy/post-partum has exacerbated her already existing problem.  

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #118 on: June 12, 2025, 09:38:27 AM »
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  • The OP mentioned that there was some evidence of these OCD issues prior to marriage.  It may be that the pregnancy/post-partum has exacerbated her already existing problem. 
    Yes

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #119 on: June 12, 2025, 09:38:44 AM »
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    The point isn't that she is excused from those threats because of the anxiety, the point is that she may be less rational than usual (and women are always less rational than men already) because of hormonal interference.
    .
    OP wants to solve that problem. Telling him that his wife is his enemy, or that he just needs to rule her with an iron fist, is not going to solve that problem. 
    .
    Never once in the history of CI have any of the marriage counsellors on here been able to produce a single real-life example where these kinds of problems have been solved with that kind of approach. These aren't questions of doctrine or theology. Your wife isn't someone on the Internet you're in a debate with.
    Bravo!