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Author Topic: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?  (Read 1633 times)

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Offline Philothea3

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Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
« Reply #15 on: October 21, 2022, 08:04:49 AM »
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  • I converted when I was really young (a minor) and my family didn't allow me to go to church either. I just insisted because nothing is more important than your salvation and worshipping God, and eventually over so many years by God's grace, they accepted the fact and now they would drive me over an hour to Mass and cook non meat dish on Fridays. But of course my family wouldn't threaten to kill me either so that could be different for you. I don't think they would actually kill you though. 
    Maybe a good way to do it is to go to Masses still but then perhaps do some nice things for them, bring them little gifts, cook them a nice meals, tell them you love them and prayed for them at church and help out with what they need on Sundays after Masses. Also ask for going to Mass everyday and maybe they'll back down to allow you to go to one each week ;) 
    Above all, pray for them, and do not be afraid of sacrifices you need to do because God will reward you.
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    Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
    « Reply #16 on: October 21, 2022, 08:26:08 AM »
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  • I’m a young convert to the Faith.( I’m living with my parents while I finish university) My parents are very anti-Catholic and won’t allow me to attend Mass. I’m over 18 so they can’t legally stop me. However, I want to do my best to honor God while also honoring my parents. I could call the police( theyd talk to my parents and take care of things) but as I said, I want to do my best to honor them.

    What should I do?
    Have you spoken with a local traditional priest? Certainly your parents are not aware of what you do 24/7, I would suggest trying to schedule a meeting on a weekday or Saturday to explain your situation. Perhaps you could find a Catholic of the same sex that you could live with while attending university? 


    Online Ladislaus

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    Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
    « Reply #17 on: October 21, 2022, 08:26:46 AM »
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  • How exactly would they prevent you from going to Mass that you would have to call the police?

    Are they kidnapping you?

    If you don't have your own car and you called for an Uber to go to Mass, what would they do?

    You do not have an obligation to obey them where it comes to not going to Mass.  It is not to dishonor your parents to disobey them.  Reason we honor them is that they reflect and extend God's authority.  But then they command something that contravenes God's authority (His command to attend Mass on Sundays), that chain of command is broken and the command is not legitimate.

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    Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
    « Reply #18 on: October 21, 2022, 08:31:45 AM »
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  • I grew up in the Novus Ordo, attending their schools from first grade through high school. I always thought there must be something wrong with me because I was unmoved, uninspired by all the masses I had to sit through. 
    I turned my back on what I thought was the Catholic church by my late teens. 
    I still had a thirst for God and explored a number of protestant churches in my twenties.
    Then something totally unexpected happened. In my thirties a coworker invited me to attend a Tridentine mass in Chicago. I was moved in such a way that I immediately knew this was real Catholicism.
    That simple invitation, that gesture by a coworker was all it took to get me on the right path.
    So, for those of you who have unbelieving relatives and friends...let them experience the true mass instead of trying to persuade them with well reasoned arguments. You can knock on a deaf man's door forever without getting a response, better to let God open their eyes and ears.
    If they turn down your invitation then keep praying for them!  

    Offline jen51

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    Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
    « Reply #19 on: October 21, 2022, 09:06:14 AM »
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  • When possible I’d move out and let the cards fall where they may with your parents. Let them know that you are Catholic and are obliged to obey Church teachings, let them know that you love them and leave praying that God will mend things. 

    If you can’t afford it, maybe try to find a good roommate to split the bills with. If you can’t afford both school and rent I’d put the college education on hold for a year or so and work double time to save up some money.

    You are of age and you need to get to Mass. I’d make that a priority over education, relationship with parents, etc. God will honor your efforts!
    Religion clean and undefiled before God and the Father, is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their tribulation: and to keep one's self unspotted from this world.
    ~James 1:27


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    Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
    « Reply #20 on: October 21, 2022, 09:41:02 AM »
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  • I’m a young convert to the Faith.( I’m living with my parents while I finish university) My parents are very anti-Catholic and won’t allow me to attend Mass. I’m over 18 so they can’t legally stop me. However, I want to do my best to honor God while also honoring my parents. I could call the police( theyd talk to my parents and take care of things) but as I said, I want to do my best to honor them.

    What should I do?
    There is a lot of good advice given here. But if the situation at home becomes too difficult and if you can move out, then do so. You can always do what hundreds of Traditional Catholics have done (assuming you are a man), ask for a job here: Contact Us - The Onyx Collection which gives them an opportunity to move and have a modest income while you get your situation stabilized. 

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    Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
    « Reply #21 on: October 21, 2022, 11:11:51 AM »
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  • I’m a young convert to the Faith.( I’m living with my parents while I finish university) My parents are very anti-Catholic and won’t allow me to attend Mass. I’m over 18 so they can’t legally stop me. However, I want to do my best to honor God while also honoring my parents. I could call the police( theyd talk to my parents and take care of things) but as I said, I want to do my best to honor them.

    What should I do?
    My advice to you is this: don't call the police on your parents, especially not over a religious argument. The police will not understand what's going on, and from then on out you are on the polices' radar. I assume from this post that you are a woman, which complicates things a bit. If you were a man, stand up for yourself and do what you think is necessary for attending Mass. It is sinful to disobey your parents UNLESS what they are telling you to do is sinful. Preventing you from your Catholic duties is sinful; your parents are in the wrong. If you are a woman and your parents are threatening you, you are not required to speak to them about religion. Use common sense and don't talk to them about that subject. If you are unable to get away on Sunday to keep the Lord's day holy, pray in secret. The Lord knows your situation best, and will understand. God will not punish you for the actions of your parents. Viva Cristo Rey

    Offline Giovanni Berto

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    Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
    « Reply #22 on: October 21, 2022, 11:27:57 AM »
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  • If possible, move out on your own.

    Then you can still honor your parents and visit them, but the friction will much be less intense, since you are not seeing them everyday.

    If there's not a real threat to your life, you can simply disobey them and go to mass anyway.

    Avoid any talk about religion. You will diminish the occasions for fruitless and violent discussion this way.


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    Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
    « Reply #23 on: October 21, 2022, 11:55:20 AM »
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  • Meeting with a Priest would be a good idea - you can always arrange it on a day you'd be out for university anyway to not create conflict with your parents on the matter.

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    Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
    « Reply #24 on: October 21, 2022, 12:15:41 PM »
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  • You are in a difficult situation with your parents.  Sometimes distance is a good thing to honor them.  Sometimes an hour away isn’t always far enough.  lol. 

    You can always work on a farm in summer in the northeast of USA.  They provide housing rent free if you work for them.  Most is seasonal summer work.  Depending on you work, you can work year round and go to school at night.  Many local community colleges are paid by the tax payers so student who are residents go for free.  

    What’s your major in college?  Sometimes colleges are too liberal and costly in the long run. 

     Many young people in our area worked for people and went to school and have their own electrical, plumbing, heating, computer repairs, hair dresser, etc. businesses. 






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    Re: How should I deal with my non|Catholic parents?
    « Reply #25 on: October 21, 2022, 01:23:12 PM »
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  • There is a lot of good advice given here. But if the situation at home becomes too difficult and if you can move out, then do so. You can always do what hundreds of Traditional Catholics have done (assuming you are a man), ask for a job here: Contact Us - The Onyx Collection which gives them an opportunity to move and have a modest income while you get your situation stabilized.
    I'm not sure I follow what the significance of this business is. Are you saying that "hundreds of Traditional Catholics" have asked for a job at this specific business? I see they are located in Belvue, do they have a connection to St. Marys?