It is obvious that these texts are talking about two very different sorts of relationships and it is absurd to conclude that a wife should be treated the same way as a parent.
Now you're finally getting closer to making an argument. But, no, it's NOT "obvious". You overstate your case ... as per usual ... because of your agenda.
Let me help you. One could argue that the heinous nature of striking one's parents comes as a result of the COMBINATION of the honor and their superiority and not from the honor by itself. In the case of wives, you hold them in honor but not as superiors. That's the "distinction" I was looking for.
Now, for the next, part ... is this a VALID distinction?
Answer: no, it's not. If I were a soldier in the army and struck my commanding officer, that would be an act of insubordination, and potentially sinful depending on the situation and the reason for it, but it would not in and of itself be an egregious and heinous an act as if I were to strike one of my parents. So subordination by itself isn't what makes striking someone abhorrent. But, assume for a second, that there were no Canon Law prohibiting striking religious. Let's say I smack a nun across the face. She's not my superior and I am not her subordinate. But that would be a heinous thing to do based on the honor that's owed to her as a religious.
So let's lay it out:
Parents: Honor + Superior ... striking = an egregious and heinous act
Soldier + Commanding Officer: Superior ONLY (no honor owed) ... striking USUALLLY = sinful (though not always) and not a heinous act
Nun : Honor ONLY (not superior) ... striking = an egregious and heinous act
Based on these examples, it's the honor alone that makes striking the person an egregious and heinous act.
I would no more strike my wife than I would a nun. If I were to strike my wife, I would consider it a mortal sin, would apologize to her (and try to make amends), and would go to Confession before returning to Holy Communion.