Hi, I've been lurking these forums for 6 months, coming back to the faith after 20 years. I'm in a civil marriage with a non-Christian woman and we have a 4 year old son. We've started going to mass but I've not been able to receive Communion as we're cohabiting. We've been talking about getting her baptized and us marrying through the Church. She hasn't been enthusiastic about this but it seems like she'll go along. She had been interested in converting to Protestantism from a friend and that's what got me to look into it, then I looked into our local Novus Ordo, then I thankfully found the SSPX, the Resistance and traditional Catholicism. She unfortunately doesn't like the rules of traditional Catholicism very much. She particularly doesn't like that I asked her to stop wearing skin tight work out clothes in public and that I got rid of the TV.

Our relationship hasn't been great. And it was very bad the first year or two. We hardly knew each other when she got pregnant and I married her so she can stay in the country (she's from Southeast Asia). I was resentful and acted that way. The plan was if things don't work out, we can separate.

She recently threatened divorce again and said she doesn't respect me. Now I'm wondering if we should just end it. I've kept the relationship going and have been hoping through prayer and grace, I'd be a better husband. There are things I don't like about her and I hope this will change too. But the main reason I keep fighting to keep us together despite the fact we don't like each other very much is for our 4 year old son.

But since this latest instance of her trying to walk out, I'm not so sure anymore. I've lost some confidence in her and I'm angry. My understanding is that because this is a civil marriage getting a divorce is not a mortal sin and won't block me from Communion. I see the only options are either to divorce or to marry in the Catholic Church. Cohabiting is no longer an option as I no longer want to live in sin. Wondering people's thoughts on whether it's best to marry without love for the betterment of a child.

C

Any chance you could get custody?

I don't mean to make light of your post, but you really needed some commas in there.

It sounds like she has a relatively mild temperament if she's willing to consider becoming Catholic for you. I know you've said that life hasn't been great, but I've heard much worse situations. Consider that you've changed a lot in six months and be patient.

Do you have a Traditional priest you can talk to about your situation?

Regarding her clothing you have done well, a women should not wear such attire, especially not in public. Don't compromise on the Catholic faith as your salvation is on the line here.

It seems she doesn't understand that Protestantism is a false religion and the fact she dislikes how strict the truth is tells me she is more interested in false piety and wants to put herself first above God and others.

I think the others will.give you better relationship advice than me but make sure you are praying always.

If they were both non religious even their civil marriage is indissoluble.

It doesn't sound like she will stay with you. If she gets baptized and you two marry, you will be in a true, indisoluble marriage. And if it falls apart, you'll need to commit to celibacy for the remainder of her life. Are you ready for that?

I don't see how this marriage would be in the interest of your son if she is already threatening divorce. Sounds like you two are bound to split up no matter what.

You should not marry unless your wife sincerely converts and won't leave you.

I would reccomend you read through this thread particularly this post.

https://www.cathinfo.com/catholic-living-in-the-modern-world/are-people-married-in-non-catholic-ceremonies-really-married/msg859528/#msg859528

Obviously if your wife converts that is the best case scenario. Since you have a child and all.