With enough time observing someone these types of disorders will become apparent.
Not always.
I have a family member who was courted for five years (he wanted to be established prior to marriage). He was slick and won the hearts of us all. Immediately after the marriage he began abusing her: physically, sɛҳuąƖly, psychologically, financially, etc. She bore it all in silence for 25 years and through many children before finally reaching out to family. Turns out she had reached out to many priests who told her she had to grin and bear it all (in one form or another). She couldn't take it anymore and finally separated. Turns out he lied to her and to us all before they married and she qualified for annulment.
Now I encourage female family members to make sure to get a potential spouse really angry at some point in their courtship so they can see the man's reaction and evaluate it. Sure has helped some avoid a disastrous marriage.