Ultimately, it is a physical barrier that can degrade naturally due to manual labor or physical exercise. Virginity is esteemed for spiritual reasons, rather than physical ones. A woman can keep her hymen but be a prideful, horrible person.

I've noticed non-virgins saying what you're saying here because that's what they can cope with. There are many people who keep their virgnities sacred, and those people can have many options because they're attractive or high-value. They want to save themselves for one person and that says alot about their character. Saying that a woman can be a virgin and be a horrible person is exactly what a butt-hurt non-virgin would say to guilt trip people into accepting non-virgins as normal. 

There is no “second virginity” or “virginity by desire.” If there was, the word “virginity” wouldn’t mean anything. I’m really surprised to see that on a Catholic forum. You are a virgin or you are not. It doesn’t matter how renewed you are from your old life- there are no second chances there.

Virginity is huge going in to marriage. I agree that a woman’s virginity is of the most importance, but that does not diminish how important it is for a man to be a virgin when he marries.

There are temporal consequences for our actions, and losing your virginity before marriage is going to place unneeded strain on the marriage even if the man is repentant. When man and woman enter into marriage, a woman has to take very seriously the vow to respect her husband, and so too the husband to love his wife. Some women may not have as hard a time with it as others, but if his past mistakes are a bitter pill for her, she shouldn’t marry him.

When I became Catholic, a man who wasn’t a virgin was a deal breaker when considering a spouse. Even as a Protestant I understood how important virginity was, but becoming Catholic I understood better the spiritual aspect of it. 

But circling back to the original question, I absolutely think each person should be forthcoming with the other about their sɛҳuąƖ history. It is for the best for both of them- there is no good reason not to.

Ultimately, it is a physical barrier that can degrade naturally due to manual labor or physical exercise. Virginity is esteemed for spiritual reasons, rather than physical ones. A woman can keep her hymen but be a prideful, horrible person.

Similarly with circuмcision

For in Christ Jesus neither circuмcision availeth any thing, nor uncircuмcision: but faith that worketh by charity. Galatians 5:6

A foreskin is just a prepuce. There is a greater spiritual dimension.

That's complete cope. See

There are plenty of virgin men who won't make good husbands as they can't provide for a family. I'm saying a man's virginity has little to do with his ability to be a good father and husband.

On the other hand a woman's virginity is extremely valuable and important. It directly correlates with the chance of divorce and adultery. It determines whether the offspring is tainted by other mans DNA (previous partners), it also greatly effects the woman's psychology, expectations, pleasure and satisfaction. It also undermines the husband's greatly as well as his authority. He is the head of the house, yet his wife gave herself/was taken by another man, for less than marriage. What an absolute dishonor, an extreme disrespect. A man being second to another man to his own wife.

Goodness gracious me! Some of you people seem to be unable to fathom the differences in men and woman! A man's virginity is nothing, he doesn't even have a hymen. But a woman being a virgin has always been a necessity throughout history. The two are incomparable. While it's certainly not ideal for the man to not be a virgin, for a woman, a lack of virginity is a deal breaker.

Really think about why rapists would get the death penalty (wasted/ruined a woman) and fornicators were forced into marriage (because who would marry this non-virgin woman?).

Pairbonding, psychology and DNA is not merely a physical barrier. The hymen can act as a proof of virginity in most cases. But the meme no hymen no diamond, isn't really about the hymen, but what it represents and implies.

No one is denying that Virginity is esteemed and preferable. However -


Augustine says (De Virgin. xi): "Nor do we praise virgins for being virgins, but, because their virginity is consecrated to God by holy continency.

Back to Aquinas!

Question 152. Virginity

Reply to Objection 1. Men have from their birth that which is material in virginity, namely integrity of the flesh and freedom from venereal experience. But they have not that which is formal in virginity, namely the purpose of safeguarding this integrity for God's sake, which purpose gives virginity its character of virtue. Hence Augustine says (De Virgin. xi): "Nor do we praise virgins for being virgins, but, because their virginity is consecrated to God by holy continency."

Yes and woman who were raped don't lose their chastity either. However as a man I don't care about that, what's important to me is whether or not a lady has done certain things with other men or not, regardless of her freewill. I PRESUME that most Catholic men are like me. Some men will overlook a past, but I wouldn't, even though I am not a virgin myself.

Do you think it's a deal-breaker for most Catholic girls?

I know a few girls from one large trad family. They made it a dealbreaker for two guys that were trying to date them.
The girls are now in their thirties and still single.
Enough said.

I know a few girls from one large trad family. They made it a dealbreaker for two guys that were trying to date them.
The girls are now in their thirties and still single.
Enough said.

It’s better to not marry at all than to marry poorly. 

Is that Catholic teaching? The bible does says it's better to marry than to burn with lust.

It's an allowance not an order. 

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

Let no temptation take hold on you, but such as is human. And God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able: but will make also with temptation issue, that you may be able to bear it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

But if those ladies were called to the married life then those men could have been the ones that God intended for them to marry and save their souls.

I’ve thought about this before. One should always be open to God’s direction. At the same time we need to set our ideals about our potential marriage partners based on what we understand will most likely lead to a holy marriage. Feelings of romance aside, we’ve got to look at it pragmatically and make our lists of must haves/can’t haves. The Holy Ghost gives us wisdom and other various helps to make good choices for ourselves in every stage of life. 

What’s a girl to do? Set aside her ideals just because a trad guy came along and wanted to marry her? That just doesn’t seem wise to me. If these women are prayerful, chaste, god fearing virgins do they need to sit there and wonder if they blew it because they didn’t detect Gods leading? Or are they being led by God in the ideals that they set? By ideals I’m not taking about money, looks and all that.

I was a young adult convert and entered the Catholic “dating” scene at the age of 25 (I think). It took me a couple years, but I didn’t have to settle on my deal breakers. Looking back I’m sure glad I didn’t! I didn’t marry the first trad that came along and riddle my mind with doubt and anxiety about “what if I screwed up.” I trusted God to bring me a good spouse or be content staying single my whole life.

I’m not saying a man who is not a virgin can’t be a good spouse. I’m sure many of them are! But it was a no for me.

We don’t know anything about these 2 30 year old virgins except for they rejected 2 men for not being virgins. I do think it’s presumptuous to think they are sitting there feeling like they had their chance and blew it. You’d need to know more before saying “enough said” like the end goal is to just be married, nevermind to who.