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Author Topic: Does a potential spouse have a right to know sɛҳuąƖ history before marriage?  (Read 106349 times)

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Änσnymσus

  • Guest
For example virginity, how many partners, whether one was abused or not, etc?

Pamphleteer Fr. Daniel Lord, SJ said that the answer is NO, assuming that the sin had been confessed and it was not being committed anymore. 

I myself have a sinful past and I wouldn't want a potential spouse to know about it.

Änσnymσus

  • Guest


Hard to imagine a potential spouse who would agree with...  "Nah, tell them nothing! Let them guess!"


Änσnymσus

  • Guest
For example virginity, how many partners, whether one was abused or not, etc?

Pamphleteer Fr. Daniel Lord, SJ said that the answer is NO, assuming that the sin had been confessed and it was not being committed anymore.

I myself have a sinful past and I wouldn't want a potential spouse to know about it.
I agree with Fr. Lord. When we confess our sins to the priest we are forgiven and those sins are buried and we rise to a new life in Christ.
Presumably, you do not, at the moment, have a specific person in mind for your spouse. 
I too had a sinful past; once I repented of those sɛҳuąƖ sins and made the resolution to sin no more I, providentially, met my spouse, who was deeply committed to a sincere life in Christ and my spouse’s stipulation when we talked of possible marriage was that our marriage would be founded firmly on Jesus Christ. My spouse also had a past and had repented. When you repent you leave your sins behind and there is no reason dredge them up.
Of course, much will depend on both of you and how forgiving and understanding each of you is. Also, there could be repercussions from past sins or past abuse, but as spouses we are there to support and pray for each and to grow in love.
Do not be anxious about this. Trust God and pray for a good spouse to come your way soon. Give Archangel Raphael a call. He is the one for finding a good spouse and sorting out early marriage problems. Read The Book of Tobit.
Prayer to St. Raphael for the Wise Choice of a Marriage Partner
O Glorious St. Raphael, Patron and Lover of the Young, I call upon thee  and plead with thee for thy help. In all confidence I open my heart to thee, to beg thy guidance and assistance in the important task of planning my future. Obtain for me through thy intercession the light of God’s grace, so that I may decide wisely concerning the person who is to be my partner through life. O Angel of Happy Meetings, lead us by the hand to find each other. May all our movements be guided by thy light and transfigured by thy joy. As thou didst lead the young Tobias to Sara and opened up for him a new life of happiness with her in holy marriage, lead me to such a one whom in thine angelic wisdom thou dost judge best suited to be united with me in marriage.

Änσnymσus

  • Guest
Yes and no.  Sins once confessed are forgiven but at the same time sin has consequences that can affect relationships ... just as Baptism remits the actual sin but not the consequences of sin.

There are many longer-term consequences of sɛҳuąƖ sin and I believe that spouses have a right to know.  In getting married, the spouse should have exclusive lifelong access to this kind of intimacy and that includes pre-marriage.  So the spouse is being unjustly denied something to which he or she should have had a right.

Those with pasts try to lean on absolution forgiving sins.  Yes, that’s true.  But you forget about the temporal effects of sin.  So, for instance, a virgin has every right to know whether a prospective spouse used to sleep with 10 different people a week.  That would affect the person’s attitudes towards them, could make them more likely to be unfaithful, and there could even be STDs involved.

You should have thought about these consequences before fornicating.  Nice try though.

Änσnymσus

  • Guest
I myself have a sinful past and I wouldn't want a potential spouse to know about it.

You should have thought about that before fornicating.  So a virgin would have every right to have expectations to marry the same.  Just because you confess and are forgiven a sin of theft doesn’t mean that there isn’t an injustice there that has to be made up for by restitution.  Now, the party from who you stole could forgive the debt but they don’t have to.  In having fornicated you are depriving the prospective spouse of something they have a right to ... exclusive lifelong intimacy.  So if you were to date a virgin, that person must be told that you’re not one so they can decide whether to forgive that debt.  If a prospective spouse asks you, you have to give an honest answer and not lie.  Lying could be grounds for annulment.  If you lied and claimed you were a virgin, that’s misrepresentation that could have altered the person’s decision to marry you.