I’ve thought about this before. One should always be open to God’s direction. At the same time we need to set our ideals about our potential marriage partners based on what we understand will most likely lead to a holy marriage. Feelings of romance aside, we’ve got to look at it pragmatically and make our lists of must haves/can’t haves. The Holy Ghost gives us wisdom and other various helps to make good choices for ourselves in every stage of life. 

What’s a girl to do? Set aside her ideals just because a trad guy came along and wanted to marry her? That just doesn’t seem wise to me. If these women are prayerful, chaste, god fearing virgins do they need to sit there and wonder if they blew it because they didn’t detect Gods leading? Or are they being led by God in the ideals that they set? By ideals I’m not taking about money, looks and all that.

I was a young adult convert and entered the Catholic “dating” scene at the age of 25 (I think). It took me a couple years, but I didn’t have to settle on my deal breakers. Looking back I’m sure glad I didn’t! I didn’t marry the first trad that came along and riddle my mind with doubt and anxiety about “what if I screwed up.” I trusted God to bring me a good spouse or be content staying single my whole life.

I’m not saying a man who is not a virgin can’t be a good spouse. I’m sure many of them are! But it was a no for me.

We don’t know anything about these 2 30 year old virgins except for they rejected 2 men for not being virgins. I do think it’s presumptuous to think they are sitting there feeling like they had their chance and blew it. You’d need to know more before saying “enough said” like the end goal is to just be married, nevermind to who.

This right here is why we need to bring back arranged marriage in some capacity and stop letting women decide things for themselves.

To be sure they have free will, and ultimately make the final decision, but their fathers and priests will know better.

I know a few girls from one large trad family. They made it a dealbreaker for two guys that were trying to date them.
The girls are now in their thirties and still single.
Enough said.

I’m sure more men are virgins than woman. It shouldn’t be that hard to find a virgin man.

I have never seen a specific church teaching that says one is to marry poorly instead of not marrying at all. Have you?
Not so ironically I agree with you a woman needs to be under the council of her father or priest. My dad is not Catholic, and these are matters I DID talk about with to my spiritual director at the time. He is the one who told me I’m better off to be single if I can’t marry well. I didn’t get the impression it was his blanket advice, but advice based on his knowledge of me. And that’s why I say I don’t think it’s a deal breaker for most women, just some.

Tons of people read this board, and it would be a shame for a young person to come in here and get the impression a man’s virginity isn’t important, or shouldn’t be considered when looking for a spouse.

With all that said, I’m now behind on dishes so it’s time to exit this topic. I wish you well in your pursuit of a spouse (if you are unmarried).

PS the posts in the last couple pages siding with my position that are anonymous aren’t me.

There is some truth that men more men are virgins these days, however those same men are committing many unnatural sins in private, so it kind of is irrelevant. and cancels itself out.