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Author Topic: Does a potential spouse have a right to know sɛҳuąƖ history before marriage?  (Read 55222 times)

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Änσnymσus

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  • Maybe my friends were a rare group of women because they were not so superficial.

    I think this immature idea among men, leads women to not want to marry at all.  But what do I know.
    Your profile says you are 50, I assume your friends are a similar age? Women in the past were slightly better than modern girls when it comes to realistic expectations in men.

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  • Your profile says you are 50, I assume your friends are a similar age? Women in the past were slightly better than modern girls when it comes to realistic expectations in men.
    I've seen in my chapel, there is a taller conventionally handsome man who comes by rarely (probably lives far) but when he is here most of the ladies surround him.


    Änσnymσus

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  • You would think he was already rich? Money doesn't make your face more appealing unless you get work done, it's cope. If a women doesn't like me but only is willing to settle because I can provide then the relationship is has a weak foundation and has a risk of adultery if someone handsome comes along and gives her 'feelings'.

    It was a joke.  Lighten up!  

    Änσnymσus

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  • Maybe my friends were a rare group of women because they were not so superficial.

    I think this immature idea among men, leads women to not want to marry at all.  But what do I know.

    Agreed.  Not to mention, to the extent there's any truth in it at all [due to fallen human nature], the flipside would be equally valid:  


    Quote
    Line up 100 women and 100 men and 80 men will make 20 women their first choice, disrespecting the other 80 women and making them feel unwanted and settled for.:jester: title=jester

    It's just a simple fact of human nature that looks can attract or not, for both sides. It doesn't necessarily mean that in the end, a good Catholic man or woman will choose their mate based on that alone or even primarily.  As Matthew said in an earlier post, life isn't fair.  Good looks, brains, money, etc. are not distributed evenly.  

    But if you try your best to be the best Catholic you can be, and trust in God, He will send you a good spouse, if that is His will for you.  Stop blaming things like "the girls just want looks or money.  Boo-hoo!"


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  • I think this immature idea among men, leads women to not want to marry at all.  But what do I know.
    I think a lot of younger girls have Disney princess syndrome. This idea among men isn't immature, it's based on observations. A little bit of attention (interest) from a women can go a long way, because most guys never receive this.


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  • It was a joke.  Lighten up! 
    I'm sorry, I am depressed.

    Änσnymσus

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  • I'm sorry, I am depressed.

    Sorry to hear it.  I will pray for you.  But seriously, what someone said above, "if you try your best to be the best Catholic you can be, and trust in God, He will send you a good spouse, if that is His will for you." is true.  Put all your focus on God.  Don't worry about all the things discussed in this thread. Truly, if you try to be the best you can be, God will work everything else out for the best.  

    "And we know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as, according to his purpose, are called to be saints."   Romans 8:28




    Änσnymσus

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  • I heard from a traditional Catholic girl that having a boyfriend/girlfriend is okay (SSPX raised), I didn't enquire for then to clarify what they meant, but it seems improper. I do not want a girl to compare me to other men who have 'romanced' her.
    Recently I saw that people who attend the SSPX thought that dancing like ballroom was okay. When a woman dances with a man, the man puts his hand around her waist. Shouldn’t that be reserved for a married couple?


    And I agree with your statement. You should be dating to marry strictly. Otherwise, you’re wasting your time, leading the other person on (women can have this problem), getting into temptations and sin. 


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  • I heard from a traditional Catholic girl that having a boyfriend/girlfriend is okay (SSPX raised), I didn't enquire for then to clarify what they meant, but it seems improper. I do not want a girl to compare me to other men who have 'romanced' her.

    ...And I agree with your statement. You should be dating to marry strictly. Otherwise, you’re wasting your time, leading the other person on (women can have this problem), getting into temptations and sin.

    I don't understand. :confused:  I guess we need to define "boyfriend/girlfriend" & 'romanced'.  

    To me, there's nothing intrinsically contradictory between those words & "dating to marry strictly."  If one goes on a few dates with someone, trying to discern whether they're compatible for marriage, they could be considered "boyfriend/girlfriend", & it could be considered a "romance."  And it could be perfectly chaste.

    If the statement: "I heard from a traditional Catholic girl that having a boyfriend/girlfriend is okay (SSPX raised), ... but it seems improper. I do not want a girl to compare me to other men who have 'romanced' her" means they've committed sins against chastity, then say so directly.  But the terms "boyfriend/girlfriend" & 'romanced' don't necessarily imply let-alone state that definitely.  A man buying a woman roses could be considered being 'romanced'.  And if you judged that girl to be meaning "committing sins against chastity with an SSPX raised member of the opposite sex", I think you committed a sin of rash judgment.  You should indeed have " enquired for then to clarify what they meant."





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  • I've seen in my chapel, there is a taller conventionally handsome man who comes by rarely (probably lives far) but when he is here most of the ladies surround him.
    What we perceive I think sometimes is based on what we imagine, the problem with the imagination is that if you look at everything with a melancholy perspective, then that is what you notice.  If you have a more positive attitude, then you will notice more positive things.   Then to add to our own perspective. you have demons playing in your imagination as well.

    Offline Gray2023

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  • I think a lot of younger girls have Disney princess syndrome. This idea among men isn't immature, it's based on observations. A little bit of attention (interest) from a women can go a long way, because most guys never receive this.
    I know a lot of young traditional women and they do not have Disney princess syndrome.  Relationships are a complicated mess, because society forces a narrative that doesn't work for the majority of people.  What we have is personality differences.  Sanguine people might be more apt to look for physical attraction.  Melancholics have a tendency to look for people who have beautiful thoughts.  It really is immature to lump all people in the same group.  God helps you find your mate, if that be God's will.

     
    1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 "4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; 5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;"


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    Offline Gray2023

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  • I think a lot of younger girls have Disney princess syndrome. This idea among men isn't immature, it's based on observations. A little bit of attention (interest) from a women can go a long way, because most guys never receive this.
    And more to the point is both sexes are having issue because media propaganda has influenced the world this way.  Break out of the mold.  Pray for your future spouse, and that God's will be done.  Then use your will to become the best person you can be.  If you find that when thinking on these topics you become depressed then take it to the confessional, because depression is a step toward despair.
    1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 "4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; 5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;"

    Offline Geremia

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  • Pic related is why women are supposed to get married in their teens. Jєωs ruined everything.
    Including changing canon law's minimum marriage age? 🤦‍♂️
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    Offline Matthew

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  • Can a man really be without a wrapper? Women have a hymen men do not. There isn't nothing tangible to prove a man's virginity, some will cope saying a women's hymen doesn't prove Virginty but history disagrees with you.

    Let's not go into graphic biology here on CathInfo. Not necessary. Let's just talk about "virginity" and leave it at that.

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