CathInfo.com

This thread was inspired by a post that I JUST SAW before I started this thread.
But for the life of me, I can't find it! I know I wasn't hallucinating.

I don't know who posted it.

It was something about having an issue maintaining an attraction to "boring" trad women or something to that effect.  He said that it wasn't as simple as just finding a good Trad woman, that you have to enjoy her company or want to be with her. Something like that.
I did a CI search for the term "boring" in the past 4 days -- nothing.

Can anyone help me find it?

I wish I had heard this advice earlier:

It's true that back in the day, and most of us have family members like this, marriage was much closer to arranged marriages, in the sense that it was a "well she's a decent enough lady" and viceversa and even if they didn't particularly mesh together they still got married, had kids and raised them, etc. The fact that both spouses had their own group / family members they mostly hung out with helped greatly.

But nowadays, whether you like it or not, modern life and jobs force you to spend almost all your free time with your spouse and kids.

The problem is this, and I get why it happens, the dating market nowadays for a young person is horrible so it feels like if you have found a trad girl/man that's decent enough you're very blessed and should go for it, but truth is it doesn't matter if they're trad and "based" and all that, if you don't actually enjoy talking and spending time together, if you marry them, you're most likely gonna loathe life and want to avoid your own home.

I'm not saying this is how it should be, but it's how it is.

That was me in the break-up thread. I don't think I really said that I have difficulty with attraction to "boring" women, just pointing out a reality: 1. society is atomized now so you spend most of your free time with your spouse 2. we aren't nobility.

You shouldn't marry someone "out of duty because they're a good Trad / have their eggs in a basket" if you don't really enjoy their company.

Here's the post: