Author Topic: Under the un-christian laws... (Read 2071 times)

spouse of Jesus · « **on:** March 02, 2011, 10:18:51 PM »

I think I mentioned some of the difficulties that exists in my way to marry. like being unable to legally marry a cradle christian, having to find a convert while converts are mostly hidden etc. etc.
It looks like a miracle but I found one. Still it seems that possible legal and cultural oppositions are not going to end. He is from a family that has gone through much hard times leading to addiction (and then recovery) of one of his brothers. Also his family is less educated than mine.
I have no problem with any of these issues. But marriage between classes is not widely accepted here. Also addiction is a stigma, even after one recovers from it. actually people pay so much attention to family history.
Although my father allowed me to follow my own faith, he said that he will allow me to marry a christian only if the guy is a "good and suitable" one. Unfortunately his definition of "good and suitable" is based on his own faith. :stare:
Please pray to God that He may help us to overcome all these obstacles. Ask Him that we may be able to help each other in such hard times. If we marry, it will be a great good for both of us, as both me and him are alone in our faith and need mutual encouragement to be able to continue.
Please ask Him to soften the heart of those whose permission is necessary for our marriage.....

Kailyn · « **Reply #1 on:** March 02, 2011, 10:24:51 PM »

Wow, that's quite the situation, and you and your family will certainly be in my prayers. Do you mind if I ask what culture you are from?

gladius_veritatis · « **Reply #2 on:** March 02, 2011, 10:28:27 PM »

In case she does not see this before signing off...

A Catholic woman living in a Moslem culture, spouse is our most beloved Iranian sister :)

Kailyn · « **Reply #3 on:** March 02, 2011, 10:35:06 PM »

All the more prayers for a difficult situation.

Catholic Samurai · « **Reply #4 on:** March 02, 2011, 10:38:47 PM »

Quote from: gladius_veritatis

A Catholic woman living in a Moslem culture, spouse is our most beloved Iranian sister :)

Indeed.

CathMomof7 · « **Reply #5 on:** March 04, 2011, 08:46:39 AM »

With God, nothing is impossible.

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #6 on:** March 05, 2011, 09:06:53 AM »

Thanks all of you for kind words, concern and prayers.
You are right CatholicMomof 7, nothing is impossible with Him. But still I fear. Because where I live the idea of marriage among parallels is so strong. When my grandma was young marrying outside of your acquaintance and city was very rare. Things has changed a lot but people still stick to some old ideas.
Christians are either ethnic minorities with their own language, writing, customs etc. (so not our par) or are persians with a history of problems with the law. Many live in suburban areas and the majority have manual jobs.
So if God wants me to marry, He must change the heart of my parents.

Raoul76 · « **Reply #7 on:** March 05, 2011, 09:41:29 AM »

You keep saying "christian" -- is he Catholic?

Have to know a little more before I pray...

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #8 on:** March 05, 2011, 10:25:50 AM »

I keep on saying christian in order to inform you about the situation in general.
He is like me. A convert to catholicism. But I admit he is misinformed about many things and it is not his fault. The only priest he knows is a NO irishman. No means of being exposed to tradition at all.
Well I sent him URLs of some trad websites.

Raoul76 · « **Reply #9 on:** March 05, 2011, 11:42:21 AM »

Maybe you should see how well he responds to the true faith before you think about marriage... Some people like to be misinformed, to the point that when they are correctly informed, they get angry.

Just take your time and don't get desperate. You obviously are determined to get married, but remember that a bad marriage will be a lifetime of misery for you.

Of course, living where you do, it's hard to expect perfection. The question is how far you are willing to bend. You probably don't have a priest to advise you. That brings up another question -- how are you going to get married if you can't even get baptized? Are you going to marry in a secular ceremony?

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #10 on:** March 05, 2011, 12:23:37 PM »

All converts have to marry before the islamic court as they are not legally recognized as converts. Even those who could obtain baptism by making trips to other Countries or receiving a lay baptism have to do so. It doesn't necessaryily mean marrying before a mullah. A secular man who is authorized to marry people will do. (In islam any person can read the marriage formula, but in order to register it you must go to an authorized man).

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #11 on:** April 08, 2011, 12:20:14 AM »

We planned to meet him one week after the end of Norooz holidays. I was discussing the process of marriage with him and that we had to "keep the appearance" even though we didn't believe in it. To my surprise he told me that it is sinful to "deny" Jesus, that he wanted to search for someone who would register our marriage without going through the process, in exchange for some money. Well he says:" I respect all religions and cultures, but will never deny Jesus."
I told him that as unbaptized people we could go through some islamic appearance.Then he told me that he was baptized and had even registered it and it was the reason for all his troubles. And that he was in danger etc. etc.
"I could not tell you that I was baptized before making sure of you, but I hinted to it."
It follows that our marriage could not be legal.

MaterDominici · « **Reply #12 on:** April 08, 2011, 12:29:59 AM »

I can't say as I completely understand all of what you've said, but what would be the ramifications of an illegal marriage?

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #13 on:** April 08, 2011, 01:27:00 AM »

The Constitution says that recognized minorities are free to follow their own rules in matters regarding marriage, divorce and inheritance. The Majority have to marry according to the islamic law.
A marriage has to be registered and officialized somewhere or it is not legal. Even in a term marriage you need a "marriage bill."
Any marriage between between a muslim woman and a non-muslim man is forbidden unless the man converts.
I know of a couple both of whom received adult lay baptism and married like that.

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #14 on:** April 08, 2011, 01:31:33 AM »

Read here:
http://www.iranchamber.com/culture/articles/iranian_marriage_ceremony.php