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Author Topic: RIP Nadir  (Read 11388 times)

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Offline SimpleMan

Re: RIP Nadir
« Reply #30 on: September 12, 2024, 09:05:23 AM »
Quote from: Stubborn on September 12, 2024, 06:34:02 AM
Thanks PV for the update, we all appreciate it very much!
As for the NOM, that's terrible to say the least and lets hope something happens to stop it, but hopefully her trad sons will intervene spiritually at least and have many requiems said for her. And there's the Gregorian Masses you mentioned in the other thread.
:pray:

You always want to make your wishes known in advance, otherwise something like this could happen.  I have a memorandum of understanding on file with my attorney, my estate trustee, and my funeral director (I have a pre-need policy) spelling out in very precise terms that I desire a Traditional Latin Requiem Mass, in the mausoleum chapel if necessary, with a stipend for thirty Latin Gregorian Masses to be funded out of my estate.

Requiescat in pace.
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Offline Drolo

Re: RIP Nadir
« Reply #31 on: September 12, 2024, 09:07:27 AM »
:pray:
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Offline Marie Teresa

Re: RIP Nadir
« Reply #32 on: September 12, 2024, 09:13:47 AM »
Quote from: SimpleMan on September 12, 2024, 09:05:23 AM
You always want to make your wishes known in advance, otherwise something like this could happen.  I have a memorandum of understanding on file with my attorney, my estate trustee, and my funeral director (I have a pre-need policy) spelling out in very precise terms that I desire a Traditional Latin Requiem Mass, in the mausoleum chapel if necessary, with a stipend for thirty Latin Gregorian Masses to be funded out of my estate.

Requiescat in pace.

I've heard other similar stories of Trads not getting Traditional Requiem & funeral.  Sometimes it's because the decedent failed to specify it in their will/instructions etc.  But sometimes in spite of their best efforts, their family doesn't comply with their specified wishes.  I've heard some say (e.g. in the case where no family members are Traditional Catholics) to tie the will to it: i.e. If you don't give me a Traditional Requiem & funeral, you forfeit your inheritance.  But I'm not sure how or if that would work.  I think it helps if you have a very trusted friend to do your funeral arrangements according to your wishes. 
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Offline 2Vermont

Re: RIP Nadir
« Reply #33 on: September 12, 2024, 10:55:32 AM »
Quote from: Marie Teresa on September 12, 2024, 09:13:47 AM
I've heard other similar stories of Trads not getting Traditional Requiem & funeral.  Sometimes it's because the decedent failed to specify it in their will/instructions etc.  But sometimes in spite of their best efforts, their family doesn't comply with their specified wishes.  I've heard some say (e.g. in the case where no family members are Traditional Catholics) to tie the will to it: i.e. If you don't give me a Traditional Requiem & funeral, you forfeit your inheritance.  But I'm not sure how or if that would work.  I think it helps if you have a very trusted friend to do your funeral arrangements according to your wishes.
Unfortunately, it seems as if one of her sons was a NO priest.  This may have complicated matters.
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Offline moneil

Re: RIP Nadir
« Reply #34 on: September 12, 2024, 11:02:50 AM »
Quote from: SimpleMan on September 12, 2024, 09:05:23 AM
You always want to make your wishes known in advance, otherwise something like this could happen.  I have a memorandum of understanding on file with my attorney, my estate trustee, and my funeral director (I have a pre-needit policy) spelling out in very precise terms that I desire a Traditional Latin Requiem Mass, in the mausoleum chapel if necessary, with a stipend for thirty Latin Gregorian Masses to be funded out of my estate.

Quote
Quote from: Marie Teresa 9/12/2024, 7:13:47 AM

I've heard other similar stories of Trads not getting Traditional Requiem & funeral.  Sometimes it's because the decedent failed to specify it in their will/instructions etc.  But sometimes in spite of their best efforts, their family doesn't comply with their specified wishes.  I've heard some say (e.g. in the case where no family members are Traditional Catholics) to tie the will to it: i.e. If you don't give me a Traditional Requiem & funeral, you forfeit your inheritance.  But I'm not sure how or if that would work.  I think it helps if you have a very trusted friend to do your funeral arrangements according to your wishes.

The will is generally not a good instrument to convey funeral instructions, it typically isn't looked at until after the funeral.  SimpleMan has structured things very well.  It is, in my opinion, especially good to lay out one's wishes (in writing) with their selected funeral home, as these instructions would be the very first docuмents looked at after a death.

The "rules" are set out by each state, not the federal government, so there can be 50 variations in the U.S.  It is always good to visit a local funeral home or attorney and learn what's applicable locally.  Most, if not all, states define who gets to make final care arrangements, which generally follow the same lineage as to who inherits an estate if there is no will.  One can preempt this by setting up one's own arrangements ahead of time, as SimpleMan has, especially if one has also provided adequate funding for the arrangements you want.

The last sentence of the quote from Marie Teresa may be very pertinent. Many don't realize that powers-of-attorney expire at the moment of death ... though some may think that the person they've given a "power-of-attorney to is also authorized to make their funeral arrangements.  Some (though I don't believe all) states provide for a "final care power-of-attorney" whereby one can designate someone outside of the "official family lineage" to make funeral arrangements for them when the time comes.

A very important detail to learn and follow ... Each state will have different rules as to what makes written instructions "binding".  At a minimum they need to be signed and dated.  Usually they need to be witnessed (the witness' full legal name should be both printed and signed and the date of signature provided).  Some states may require two witnesses.  Some states may require the signatures to be notarized.  If the rules haven't been followed for the state one lives in the docuмent may be invalid and non-binding.

As an aside, most funeral homes have a notary on staff.  Most banks provide complimentary notary service for their depositors.  Many church secretaries are notaries, so those who belong to a larger chapel with an office or school staff may be able to have docuмents notarized there.
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