Hello my friends, it's been awhile. I don't know where the time has gone.

I want to thank everyone who has prayed and continues to pray for me as I battle serious illness here. You are all in my prayers and have my heartfelt gratitude.

I believe these prayers of yours granted me relief for the past year here due to God's mercy.

In the past year I've been holding steady with only mild decline, until two months ago, when the wheels started turning and the little cart of my life starting running downhill at speed. I've had a hard time and am preparing for the possible worst. Hopefully things will turn around. I hope to make a general confession soon and I continue to see doctors who sadly try various mediations but cannot find a treatment that is a cure.

To sum up my from my previous posts about this issue I've come down with muscle tremors and spasms that randomly occur throughout the body, these jerks and spasms interrupt my breathing and sleeping and make doing daily tasks more and more difficult. If they continue to worsen I will need assisted living and if they start to affect the heart well that may be the end.

I've tried a variety of treatments nothing seems to have much effect with the exception of fasting which in a small but significant way lessens the tremors. This is not enough however. I've been evaluated by multiple doctors and neurologists, and there is no diagnosis or standard treatment. Various medications continue to be tried to no effect.

Please recommend me to God, as I am quite miserable here, though I do my best learn to embrace suffering and God's Providence and trust He will give me a way to bear this or a way out, whether out of this illness or a holy and happy death. I am quite lacking in virtues and still with many vices to overcome despite so many years, and certainly not good at bearing up suffering well. I do not want to leave my elderly mother behind, I would rather be here in this life, but at times I've been miserable enough to not want to be here any more and to hope God would finish this life up.

Thank you my friends again for you prayers. I am am just an ordinary Catholic bearing up under all this and need all the help a poor sinner like myself can get. You have my prayers and best wishes for all your intentions before God. 

Thank you.

Sorry you are going through this.  I had a friend with similar symptoms who was eventually diagnosed with dystonia.  It took him a decade to get diagnosed.  He also had spasms in his chest which interfered with breathing and caused his heart rate to spike dangerously.  Stress and anxiety did increase his symptoms.  

Added to my list!

Dear Shin,
as we were saying our morning prayers this morning I found myself wondering about you, because it has been quite a while since you posted. Less than an hour later, here you are. It is good that you are still here, and I am sorry for your suffering. You will certainly remain in my prayers. 

What an incredibly difficult trial.  I will definitely offer prayers for you.

It's so hard, but do not think that Jesus has abandoned you. 

I know you are offering your sufferings up for souls,

so just keep thinking about all the poor sinners you will hopefully

meet in Heaven. 

They will all come up to you and say, "I was headed for Hell but you offered your suffering for me.  How can I ever thank you?!"

Yes, prayers for you.