Sorry for your illness(es). Praying for you. +
Inspiring answer to Jesus' question. - Blessed Anna Maria Taigi 1739 - 1837 AD.:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Maria_Taigi"... On another occasion, Taigi entered the church of San Andrea della Valle. Before the Crucifix, Taigi reported hearing the voice of Jesus Christ, "What is your wish? To follow Jesus poor and naked and stripped of all? Or to follow Him in His triumph and glory? Which do you choose?" Taigi replied, "I embrace the cross of my Jesus. I will carry it like Him in pain and ignominy. I await at His hands triumph and glory in the hereafter."[2]
On December 26, 1802, Taigi became a professed member of the Secular Trinitarians in the church of San Carlo alle Quattro Fontane.[1][4] She frequented hospitals and
especially liked to visit and aid patients at San Giacomo of the Incurables. Taigi experienced a series of ecstasies and frequent visions in which she foresaw the future..."