If she were posting on here, how exactly would she say you were controlling?

This is the second such story we have had this week.

She has has six children with you so I would assume you have been married a while.b

Found this today, stumbled across it while Googling for something else.  It is an old Fisheaters post.  Now, obviously, some people here will simply say she (Jenn) is lying or she is a feminist.  But I've heard this complaint from other Trad women, sisters of SSPX priests, practising Catholics who go to mass every Sunday.  It's not an uncommon complaint and the number of practising Trads who DON'T marry Traditionalists is rather high, as is the number of people who end up unmarried despite trying to find someone.

For some reason, some Trad women are put-off the more over-zealous Trad men.  Whether that is justified or not I am sure is going to be fiercely debated.  But in the last week we have a divorce threat from Gooch and now this post (above), both of which indicate that more than a tiny handful of Trad hardliners have these sorts of problems.  I've seen similar issues in my 30+ years as Trad mass goer around the English speaking world.  Not saying it is a huge problem, just a problem.

No reflection on the OP, here and perhaps someone can start another thread to discuss it; if desired. But it merits reflection on whether some Traditionalists are not making a rod for their own back.  Even if the problem is 100% down to the evil of feminism, the fact remains that as a divorced or separated father you are going to have FAR less influence over your children's hearts and minds than a father who remains married.

Pragmatically speaking, would a man not be better off modifying his leadership style in order to keep his family together and have a 90% influence, rather than playing it by the anti-feminist book and risking the loss of control.


Quote from: Jenn

This thread is a lovely reminder of why I was so gun-shy of trad men when I was younger, and why I ultimately did not marry one --which of course presented a different set of problems. I was surrounded by men who called themselves "traditional Catholics" and were nothing of the sort. They were petty tyrants who's idea of being a trad husband was having the power to order around the peons because "wives be subject to your husbands" and  kids "honor thy father". It shattered me, and it ultimately caused me to turn completely away from the faith for at least 7 years.

My daughter is at the age to start seriously dating (she's pushing 20). If she ever comes home with a man who calls himself a trad, I'm going to be on high alert. For her own protection. While my husband is Catholic in name only, I am profoundly grateful that I am not married to someone who will crush me in the name of "traditionalism" and put me in danger of walking away from the faith again. I endured those types of men when I had no choice. I will never, ever endure it again, and I'll go through hell and highwater to see to it that my daughter doesn't have to endure it.

A few years back, a young traditional man started coming to our church. My family is large with a good number of eligible young ladies, and he was eager to get to know us. One day we had him over for a small gathering. He literally got up and walked out of our house because he was scandalized beyond belief. Why? My younger sister had made the mistake of telling him that she enjoyed the occasional glass of wine. He found it scandalous that genteel women would indulge in alcohol. THAT'S the kind of young man that I will walk over hot coals to protect my daughter from. They are dangerous.

Perhaps, but the problem (for everyone) is a lot of people identify themselves as Catholics who are not in the view of other people, "Catholics".  Of course they cannot all be right but the spectrum is wider than ever.

If this man identified himself as "puritan" then this woman would not have to be scandalised because she would not have invited him around to meet her daughter.

Nor, would the man have to conclude that "so called Traditional Catholic women are borderline alcoholics".  I believe there are posters on this forum who have opined that boozing is a problem for young US Traditionalists.

It would save a lot of trouble if people would/could date people with the same flavour of Catholicism that they themselves have, if there was a simple way to grade people.

I certainly know Trads, even in the UK, which is not exactly a hotbed of zeal, who would be scandalised by what most Catholics would consider social drinking.  I think most Trads have witnessed views and behaviour which might be described as puritanical at some point over the years.

Please pray for my wife. She has been battling depression for the last 9 months. She had recently told me that she no longer wants to be a Catholic anymore (at least not a Traditional Catholic) and that she no longer loves me. We have 6 children and she is willing to leave them (possibly temporary)also just so that she is happy. She accused me of being controlling and is tired of being controlled by the Catholic Church. I attempt to explain to her that our Lord had established the Church to guide us to heaven and that rejecting the Church would be rejecting Christ. She refuses to seek counseling or to talk to a priest. I love her with my whole heart. Please pray that she accepts counseling from a priest soon, returns to the Catholic Faith, and give our marriage a second chance.

Comrad, nearly every woman who wants a divorce calls her husband controlling, it has almost nothing to do with being Catholic.  And almost every fake liberal Christian encourages them, and tries to undermine the authority of husbands, no matter what denomination.

If a lot of Trad women are like this, it must make the hunt for a woman who is not like this particularly difficult if not impossible given how few Trad women there are in a typical chapel.

If one is married and finds oneself being accused of being controlling, then what is the best response given that the legal system is biased against men?  (I think everyone here would agree it is biased, even secular people can see that).

Does one stick to one's guns and risk divorce (we've had two such cases posted this week).  Or, adjust one's leadership style to the new reality.

I know owner/CEOs for example who, in an ideal world, would not employ very many women if any at all, but they do it in order to keep their corporation alive, solvent and employing the hundreds of men it does employ.

Should they shut the corporation down on principle, or, deal with the world as it is?

No one should be surprised at feminist posters from FE being turned off by trad men.  That's one of the main reasons they post at such forums.

Just as hostility to trad men is a major motivator for certain liberals here.