Matto said:

"But there are temptations and mine are strange and humiliating."

Response:

Whan you have these "temptations," are they attractive, or repulsive, to you?  In other words, I am wondering whether they are really to be categorized as "temptations" or "obsessions."

Thank you for your prayers, everyone.

My hiatus was because I was ill and was hospitalized. I was also spiritually ill and fell into mortal sin. Then I made a good confession and got well and got out of the hospital and was able to start attending Mass again. My hospital stay was harrowing. I will not disclose exactly what medicines I am taking but I have discussed my problems more than I probably should, and they are not a secret. I am not well, but I am trying to get better. I do not think my issue is my medication as I feel alright there, I do believe it is a spiritual problem, basically having strange temptations late at night.

What sort of temptations? And I'd echo Seán's question: Are these temptations something you want to do(like for example eating more than you should), or are they temptations to do things you don't want to do(like the call of the void or OCD)?

I'm glad that you're feeling more hopeful than before, I noticed in the past you were world-weary and you've been much more optimistic lately, but it's not a case of your posting style not being popular that has people concerned. You've been acting strange and it's not just down to your newfound hopefulness. I think there's likely more to it than just a spiritual problem, but if it is a spiritual problem then it's quite a serious one. Most likely however I think it's a problem with the medication - I remember one of my friends was accidentally overdosing on his medication once and he was acting very strangely until the doctor sorted him out, and although it was much more severe and for a shorter time period I can't help but wonder if your situation is similar. Some adverse reaction to it at least. 

Ditto everyone else who is concerned.

  Matto, please show your posts to your SSPX confessor.  A complete and sudden change in a person’s manner of speaking, writing, relating to others is indicative of a chemical imbalance of the brain.  Something is wrong here.  PLEASE reach out to your priest, your counselor, and your medical doctor.  If YOU think nothing’s wrong, then go, armed with CathInfo on your device.  Tell the experts that numerous OTHERS think you may be having a bad reaction or complication.  

Please go and keep us updated.

I will show my Cathinfo posts since I got back to my confessor. Thank you.

When they come at the moment they seem attractive.

That's a relief, because it indicates temptation, and not obsession.

As for the temptations, well, you are probably old enough by now to know how to deal with that (i.e., You just play a game with it, and say to yourself, "Oh, that again," and dismiss it and move on; don't let it get to you).

One person I know turned it around on the devil, and every time he was tempted with horrendous thoughts, prayed, "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, save souls."  

It had the double-effect of simultaneously blocking the intrusive thought (i.e., you can't think two things at once, even though it seems like you sometimes can, really it is only very quick thoughts in succession going back and forth, or at best a partial hybrid of both thoughts), and making the temptation an occasion to virtue and merit, so that the devil was unwittingly helping to sanctify the person.

Well, I hope you are in good communication with your doctors and priest, and we are praying for you.

No reason why you shouldn't get better.

It is hard being a Catholic anywhere.

Yes, but living in NYC is much more difficult than, say, a rural area that is free from crime and constant temptation.  In NY, I can’t walk out the door and walk a block without seeing or hearing something offensive to Our Lord, even if it’s just the satanic gang tag spray painted on the wall in the alley.  I guarantee by the time I get to work, I’ve seen a dozen or more immodest, or persons of indeterminate sex, heard the f-bomb and worse, heard unholy music, and gone past two mosques, a Buddhist temple, and a Hindu temple in the shape of Ganesh.  I call these temptations, although to me, any temptation is to anger or disgust rather than attraction.  
If I walk out my country friend’s door in rural West Virginia and walk the equivalent distance, the only offensive thing I may possibly see is the sometimes scantily clad young single mother who lives in the trailer down the road.  In her case, it’s generational poverty and ignorance to blame more than malicious intent.  If she comes down to my friend’s home, she always throws on a cover-up of some sort since she knows how they feel about shorts and spaghetti strap tops.  
My friend homeschools most of her grandchildren who live locally.  They go to Mass every 4-6 weeks in Kentucky as there’s just nowhere closer.  They moved in 2006 hoping to start a Catholic community, but it didn’t pan out.  After the recession hit in 2008, they were pretty much stuck, and have been, ever since.  It’s sad, though, that the adult children, once they move away for school or work, or if they don’t marry young, all abandon the Faith.  

Matto, about temptation. We all get it, and it is, as you know, from the devil, who prowls around waiting for an "in", a little moment when we are not being watchful. Then he comes in and pounces after this watching and waiting, when he sees an opportunity, like when we are tired and alone, between prayers, discouraged, or dull for whatever reason (low blood sugar?). 

He tempted Eve, making her now see things that she did not see before. How conflicted she must have been, but she was overpowered by her temptation. This must be natural for all of us, except by the help of God.  Jesus says that she could have overcome it if she had come to Him. He says,

She "saw". And seeing, she wanted to try. Her flesh was aroused. Oh! If she had called to God! If she had hurried to Him saying: "Father! The Serpent has caressed* me and I am upset". The Father would have purified and healed her with His breath, which could have infused new innocence into her as it had infused life. And it would have made her forget the snake's poison, nay it would have engendered in her a disgust for the Serpent, as it happens in those who bear an instinctive dislike for diseases of which they have just been cured. But Eve does not go to the Father. Eve goes back to the Serpent. The sensation is a sweet one for her. "Seeing that the fruit of the tree was good to eat and pleasing and agreeable to the eye, she took it and ate it".

[*the "caress" referred to here is understood to be the caress of words, not touch]
[the link you see is from Valtorta's work, that is favored by Bsp.Wmson, whom you mentioned but distracted by some].


Ever since I read "what-to-do" from Jesus many years back, I have always done just this when unwanted temptations or ugly thoughts and ideas pop into my mind. Like I hear something ugly and my mind begins to dwell on it. I do it the very moment, most especially if I find myself liking to think of something I know God would not want me thinking of - I ask God to please take away this ugly thought right now. To stop it. And He ALWAYS does! Pretty much INSTANTLY! If He did not, I would keep asking, but He does immediately, so far (for some years now).  It is just like He said - we are to HURRY to Him, and tell him we are upset by these thoughts, and He purifies us of it immediately with His power. We should seek to have this "new life, new innocence" all the time, which we cannot achieve on our own, but only with the help of God, and then because it is His work, not ours, it is EASY. Any comfortable innocence and clarity I have inside me is not from me, but from God, who gives it to me and to anyone generously whenever He is asked for it. See, so it really is this simple. Do you love St. Therese the Little Flower? Because she helps us to be simple, as I know you strive to be. The Little Way is a good way for us.

Yes, we will pray for Matto and everyone.    Please pray for me.