Author Topic: Pray for a marriage (Read 5540 times)

spouse of Jesus · « **on:** April 21, 2010, 03:41:22 AM »

Please say some prayers and storm heaven that I may find a good catholic man. In this case my initiation to The Church will be much easier and I will be able to spent the rest of my life in a catholic environment away from the occasions of sin.
Also ask God that I may not be forced to live abroad since I love my hometown!

Raoul76 · « **Reply #1 on:** April 21, 2010, 05:48:34 AM »

You have decided marriage is your vocation, then? I'm glad for you, and I do think you are someone who will really blossom as a married woman and mother. It is a very hard time to meet someone, but I think you will because God brings us what we need -- remember also that if you meet someone who is not Catholic you may be able to convert him.

Until then, I shall pray:

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #2 on:** April 21, 2010, 06:56:46 AM »

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You have decided marriage is your vocation, then?

I made that unwise private vow of celibacy when I was using anti-desperant drugs. I really hated the idea of marriage then.

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I'm glad for you, and I do think you are someone who will really blossom as a married woman and mother. It is a very hard time to meet someone, but I think you will because God brings us what we need -- remember also that if you meet someone who is not Catholic you may be able to convert him.Until then, I shall pray:

Thank you you are so kind.
and yet the idea of uniting with someone whose faith is so far from mine, is like an oxymoron.

Catholic Samurai · « **Reply #3 on:** April 21, 2010, 11:28:29 AM »

Well keep praying about it. I mean, you have yet to be baptized. When you do receive baptism all those graces will become accessible to you and your prayers will become more powerful.

gladius_veritatis · « **Reply #4 on:** April 21, 2010, 11:52:36 AM »

Hang in there, sweet lady :)

Raoul76 · « **Reply #5 on:** April 21, 2010, 04:59:49 PM »

spouse_of_Jesus said:

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and yet the idea of uniting with someone whose faith is so far from mine, is like an oxymoron.

How come you don't want to move, for instance, to Europe? You could probably inspire a lot of people there, maybe be a kind of spark who helps Muslims convert. It would also be easier to find a husband.

MaterDominici · « **Reply #6 on:** April 21, 2010, 10:47:24 PM »

As I met my husband via the Internet, I do think you're hanging out in the right place. :wink:

Quote from: Raoul76

remember also that if you meet someone who is not Catholic you may be able to convert him.

Bad advice. The husband needs to be the leader in a good marriage. Generally, a woman converting for a marriage will likely work out as it's in their nature to follow. A man converting in order to marry doesn't likely have God at the center of his motivations. Of course there are plenty of exceptions, but the "lovey-dovey" phase of looking for a husband/wife isn't the time to decide that YOU are the exception.

Matthew · « **Reply #7 on:** April 21, 2010, 10:49:35 PM »

Quote from: MaterDominici

As I met my husband via the Internet, I do think you're hanging out in the right place. :wink:

maybe CathInfo needs a singles section.

Alex · « **Reply #8 on:** April 22, 2010, 01:48:11 AM »

Quote from: Matthew

Quote from: MaterDominici
As I met my husband via the Internet, I do think you're hanging out in the right place. :wink:

maybe CathInfo needs a singles section.

Maybe that's not such a bad idea, Matthew. But it should be a separate page of Cathinfo - not part of the discussion forum page.

Raoul76 · « **Reply #9 on:** April 22, 2010, 01:59:57 AM »

MaterDominici said:

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Bad advice.

You skipped the second stage of my advice -- the husband has to accept that she raises the children as Catholics.

MaterDominci said:

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The husband needs to be the leader in a good marriage.

It may not be an easy marriage. But the poor woman lives in Iran, and she is clearly dealing with hormones and has the vocation to be a mother. The situation is not one that calls for idealism.

St. Augustine's mother was not married to a Catholic, and he converted on his deathbed. She's a saint. So...

MaterDominici said:

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Generally, a woman converting for a marriage will likely work out as it's in their nature to follow.

Generally, maybe. But I know of a marriage where the woman converted to Catholicism, and then when the man became traditional she remained all gonzo New Age Novus Ordo.

A marriage where someone converts for the sake of the spouse is also dangerous -- the convert may lack zeal and drag their partner down. For instance, they may be nominally Catholic but suggest using condoms, they may have a very light approach to religion. I think this is the way a lot of people got trapped in the Novus Ordo, by being in a worldly marriage that caused them to slacken and relax in their faith.

Essentially, no matter what your situation is, you have to have your own relationship with God and not let anyone pull you down.

Dawn · « **Reply #10 on:** April 22, 2010, 05:12:23 AM »

I will pray for you Spouse.
Good idea on the "singles section".

Catholic Samurai · « **Reply #11 on:** April 22, 2010, 03:15:45 PM »

Quote from: Raoul76

MaterDominici said:
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Bad advice.

You skipped the second stage of my advice -- the husband has to accept that she raises the children as Catholics.

MaterDominci said:
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The husband needs to be the leader in a good marriage.

It may not be an easy marriage. But the poor woman lives in Iran, and she is clearly dealing with hormones and has the vocation to be a mother. The situation is not one that calls for idealism.

St. Augustine's mother was not married to a Catholic, and he converted on his deathbed. She's a saint. So...

Converting a spouse is not a good idea. You want someone who has been a Traditional Catholic for at least 5 years and has studied their faith and has the humility to accept the dogmas and principles of the faith and adjust their own ideas and opinions to fit them. If your going to convert a suitor and marry them, only to find out that they have some issues with the faith that you forgot to inquire and discuss with them, your going to have the problem of raising your children in the faith and that is going to be most difficult as you just included a contradicting influence in your home. Why do you think St.Augustine turned out the way that he did in his youth? Why do you think the Bishop refused to baptize him? Because Monica married a pagan and was probably , not until later, serious about instructing her child in the faith and, as expected, the boy turned out to become a pagan just like his father. Now why do you think that is?

When you marry a "convert" they are likely to "convert" YOU to another faith, not to mention the children you will both have.

Catholic Samurai · « **Reply #12 on:** April 22, 2010, 03:32:09 PM »

Quote from: Raoul76

MaterDominci said:
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The husband needs to be the leader in a good marriage.

It may not be an easy marriage. But the poor woman lives in Iran, and she is clearly dealing with hormones and has the vocation to be a mother. The situation is not one that calls for idealism.

Hormones are NOT a factor in determining ones vocation!!! :really-mad2:
If that were the case then there would be no such thing as a religious or priest. All priests and religious are human and have bodies like you and I that have all the same functions and fallen appetites that everyone else has. What has made them embrace the religious life is the grace of God and His Will for them to serve Him in that state, regardless of their fallen human nature. Naturally they strive to subdue their passions, but it's not easy. It's not like you put on a habit and all of a sudden stop being attracted the opposite sex. On the contrary, my priest said that if you dont have those natural attractions then you have no business in seminary or convent because there is something wrong with you. St.Augustine, St.Ignatius Loyola, St.Benedict, St.Francis Assisi, St.Teresa, and all the other saints HAD HORMONES and still served God in the religious state of life in spite of it. The Will of God should be what determines a persons vocation, NOT whatever YOU feel like doing.

Weather Spouse has a vocation to be a mother or sister, she will have the opportunity to exercise her motherly instincts as both states provide the company of children... unless she enters a cloistered convent. She must consult God and wait for His answer.

In any case, God's Will be done.

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #13 on:** April 23, 2010, 01:35:59 AM »

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She must consult God and wait for His answer.

and how will His answer come to me? I mean How can I know what His answer is?

Raoul76 · « **Reply #14 on:** April 23, 2010, 02:19:25 AM »

Catholic Samurai said:

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Hormones are NOT a factor in determining ones vocation!!!

Matthew 19:12

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For there are eunuchs, who were born so from their mother's womb: and there are eunuchs, who were made so by men: and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven. He that can take, let him take it.

By saying that not everyone would be able to accept a life of celibacy ( those "who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven" ) and that only certain people would be able to "take it," Christ was saying that there are those who have a vocation to marriage. They literally cannot "take" celibacy.

The hormones business was just a little offhand joke. There are other reasons why some are not called to celibacy. I wrote to spouse in another thread about how she seems to have too much time to think about herself and that she comes across as slightly neurotic. My impression of her is that she would benefit enormously from taking care of children and a husband -- that it would stabilize her sometimes violent mood swings and tendencies to negative brooding.

I could be wrong, but I am not God. I do what I can.

Catholic Samurai said:

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St.Augustine, St.Ignatius Loyola, St.Benedict, St.Francis Assisi, St.Teresa, and all the other saints HAD HORMONES and still served God in the religious state of life in spite of it.

Yeah, and I am like them in the matter of hormones and in eunuch-ness if not in the matter of saintliness. I am also a lot like spouse ( or my faulty and sketchy Internet impression of spouse ) in that I'm self-absorbed and moody but I know I am not meant for marriage. It would not make me blossom but it would make me feel distracted and hemmed-in. I need to be at the disposal of God at all times, even though I have chosen not to be a priest until the mess in the Church is cleaned up.

So we all have hormones in common. At least that has been established. Spouse, you are asking how you will know God's will... In your case, it may be so hard to find a husband that that the sheer impossibility of it will prove you were meant to be celibate. Otherwise, if the miracle happens, then all questions are resolved. In short, if God wants you to be married He will send you a husband.