I have not done well to myself spiritually for really quite a numbe of years. Please pray that I be more patient, peaceful, and diligent and especially concerning myself. Thank you.
It is an exceedingly precious grace to humbly acknowledge one's faults, especially in an age such as ours when most people in the world have their hearts rendered hardened and insensible to even the consciousness of guilt or even to the very notion of sin by continual vice and habitual sins, defects, imperfections, &c., or even by "self-help" books and shows that write off the culpability of the sinner as a "psychological" byproduct of some so-called "trauma" or "dysfunction."
Even feeling this anxiety and frustration that you express is a sign that you are being called by grace to rise higher, and therefore you ought to be encouraged rather than discouraged, and eschew all evil sorrow and sloth and manfully purpose to take hold of the Cross and follow Our Blessed Lord.
This is a grace that is doubtless the gift of the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary. She is always with you, more desirous of your spiritual welfare than you can ever be, for her love is more than anyone of us can ever fathom: and as Queen of Heaven and Mediatress of all graces, her intervention is as efficacious and powerful as her love for us.