After all our discussions I came to realize that maybe my notion of faith and charity is not exactly what Christ wanted. I mean maybe it was a wrong sort of love, which I mistook for devotion. It is the part of what I was taught as a child about the way we should love religion:unconditional love and adherence to all teaching bitter or sweet, hard or easy. Sa'adi has a poem about his god:"whether you caress me in love or cast me out in anger, your judgement is all right to me." or an other poet who compares god with a beloved whoes anger is beautiful too."a morning dew on a flower, is like the face of my beloved when angry." Or Baba Tahir who says that even in judegemnt day he will love his god no matter what the sentence maybe. "whether saved or damned." And also all those people who claim that they adhere to their faith not because of eternity, but "because it's teaching are right and makes them wise, happy etc."
All led me and many others to try to respect the authority, that prophet and all the succesors no matter what they said or deed. "a love independant of good or evil."
As a result I was amazed when I saw that you and other Christians love God because of His perfections. You defend the honor and holiness of Jesus and His Saints, while I believed in unconditional holiness and was ready to continue saying "Holy, Holy, Holy" even if I could catch them sining.
Once I found an anti-christian book attributing many sins to our Lord.
My reaction (which I was very proud of) was sth like this:
He was not Son of a Virgin? all right will love Him nevertheless.
He was a ### man a ####### or a disrepctful son? no worries, I will love Him still.
Now I see that it is not what the Church would approve of, it is not the way a good Catholic reacts. I wonder if it was a demonic trick to act like this.
Any ideas, advice or comments?