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This is an fantastic post and you should not have received a downvote for this. When selecting a place to live, access to Mass and a chapel (preferably with a resident priest) must be the TOP priority. And if people live a distance from Mass, they have to attend as often as they can.

The Mass is the most important thing in the entire world, by far. Nothing else even comes close.

I can see where a job transfer might put you in the boonies, and the only option would be destitution or accepting the transfer.

That said, I know of SSPXers who request dispensations from Mass to go on vacations.  One apparently received a dispensation to go on vacation without Mass twice/year (and if they did, then it must be common practice for SSPX priests to grant such dispensations to others as well).

To get stuck without Mass is one thing, but to voluntarily and deliberately choose recreation over duty to God is a scandal to me. 

What's the purpose of this life again???

I can see where a job transfer might put you in the boonies, and the only option would be destitution or accepting the transfer.

That said, I know of SSPXers who request dispensations from Mass to go on vacations.  One apparently received a dispensation to go on vacation without Mass twice/year (and if they did, then it must be common practice for SSPX priests to grant such dispensations to others as well).

To get stuck without Mass is one thing, but to voluntarily and deliberately choose recreation over duty to God is a scandal to me. 

What's the purpose of this life again???

It occurs to me that this matter of SSPX and SSPXers requesting/granting/receiving dispensations from Mass is similar to same having rather lax requirements for NFP, and/or overemphasizing the importance of SSPX school attendance, and/or permitting the death vax:

All four cases seem to be based upon modernist "quality of life" considerations:

If the wife is too stressed out to have more kids (which becomes, "She'll suffer a nervous breakdown; I know this one woman...");

If she is too stressed out to homeschool (which again becomes, "She'll suffer a nervous breakdown...");

[The real solution is that husbands need to get off their asses and help out.]

If the husband is too stressed out by his own family that he needs to go away for longer than a week at a time fishing, hunting, or whatever (which becomes, "Otherwise he'll snap and leave his family...").

Or if both husband and wife need to be dispensed for a vacation (i.e., they need a break from God)...

Or if your job requires the abortion/death vax, well, "you need to support your family."

Of if your New Zealand SSPX school requires the clotshot, "Well if we don't comply, its back to homeschooling, which will be stressful for you, and a shame to close it after all the money we spent on it."

Backing up:

I recall a conference with Fr. Iscara in St. Paul (maybe around 2006?), in which he discussed end of life issues, and in the course of doing so, noted the modernist shift in medical morals, which since Vatican II has obscessed upon "quality of life considerations."

Seems like that same trend is to be found among trads/trad clergy, with the rationale being the same: "You need this, and things will be better for you."

No, I think things will be better for me if I manage to schedule my recreations around my duties, which is commonsense in every other aspect of life.

We commonly recognize one who places his recreations above his duties as a derelict in secular life.  How much more so in the spiritual life should the same censure apply?

Reading your OP two days ago, sentences 2 & 3 ("My husband is a TLM-er but less concerned about where he attends.  We just moved from a large city with a SSPX priory to a very rural setting. ") gave me a hunch that what you said today was indeed the situation, but I didn't want to say so without hearing more details. It's difficult to be in your position, with obedience to your husband on one side and trying to do what's best for your children's souls on the other side. Please, fellow CathInfo people, she's an earnest recent revert and a concerned wife and mother, and that's why she's asking for advice. (Note boldface added above.) This thread isn't necessarily about the SSPX per se, nor about what other bad Catholics tangentially have done. It's about how to manage this particular complex and delicate situation. Caeli, perhaps give it some time and then the answers you need will arise, God willing.

Yes, I got the same impression.