I suppose my point (which may not even be applicable to your post, Mike) is this:
The choices are not, "Do the truth without charity" OR "Be falsely charitable." If we seek to avoid the spinelessly cheesy route, as we should, we have more options than to simply hammer in a way that anyone can see will prove useless, if not harmful. Nekrohol just gave us a wonderful, concrete example of what I am trying to say. Godspeed :)