(These are translated from the German)

A little boy goes to his first confession

"Bless me Father for I have sinned. It is 0 minutes since my last confession"

"Yes, my son?"

"Father, I have broken the 9th commandment"

"What! How!?"

"I have coveted another man´s wife, Father"

"Explain!"

"Well, yesterday I went to my friend Franz´s birthday party. The whole table was covered with lovely cakes and we ate and ate. And I said,"Oh how I wish I had a mummy like Franz´s!"


A Novus preacher is fiddling with a faulty microphone near the communion table. He shakes it about and then says, very loudly:

"I believe there´s something wrong with this bloody microphone"

The congregation drones out:

"And with thy spirit"


A Novus preacher goes to see a shrink.

The shrink says.

"Do you talk in your sleep?"

The preacher replies.

"No, the congregation sleeps while I talk"