These jokes came from a group of guys on a forum -- the women on here might not like some (all?) of them...


A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old
lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said,
‘OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the
fourth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes,
so you can forget about three. You only get one wish.’
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said,
‘I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii but I’m scared to fly and I get
very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive
over there to visit?’
The genie laughed and said, ‘That’s impossible. Think of the
logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of
the Pacific? Think of how much concrete… how much steel! No, think
of another wish
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he
said,
‘I’ve been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that
I don’t care and that I’m insensitive. So, I wish that I could
understand women… know how they feel inside and what they’re
thinking when they give me the silent treatment… know why they’re
crying, know what they really want when they say “nothing”… know
how to make them truly happy. .’
The genie said,
‘You want that bridge two lanes or four?’



A man who compromises when he's wrong is wise; a man who compromises when he's right is married.


A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her
mother, “Jeff proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t
even believe there’s a hell.”
Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of
us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”


A woman and a man wanted to have a baby, so they went to the
doctor to see if there was a way. When the doctor came in,
told them about a new study that transfers all the pain from
the mother to the father during delivery. hey both agreed to
take part in the study.
Later, when the woman went into labor, her husband was
hooked up to the device to transfer the pain. After it was
hooked up the doctor turned on the power. The man didn’t feel
anything so he told the doctor to turn the power up. After
the power was turned up the man still couldn’t feel anything.
The doctor turned it up more. The man still couldn’t feel it.
Finally, the doctor turned it up the whole way. The woman
delivered a beautiful baby, and neither of them felt any
pain.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the doorstep.