Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => Funny Stuff for Catholics => Topic started by: spouse of Jesus on July 06, 2009, 12:15:22 AM
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OK, in this thread, suppose you are given an other chance to live with this difference that this time you can choose the way you want it to be. ie. you can choose your gender, appearence, century, parents and what you want to happen to you etc.
know write it like a biography.
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Here mine:
I was born in 13th century Spain, adopted by a couple who's marriage is a josephite marriage to be their child. I receive visions from a very young age. I am given the gift of innocence till death. My childhood is spent in beautiful meadows with an antique church near them. Then before I see my old age, I am martyred by some jew.
Now let us see your's.
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Ah, Spain in such an era! Well, for those who are weary of these days (and I cannot blame anyone for such), they shall soon be renewed - and, in some ways, be MORE glorious than the Age of Faith. HARD to believe, I know, but true. I hope to see you on the other side of this present darkness. Hold on, pray, and trust Our Lady of Good Success of the Purification!
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I'm a German noble in the Baroque era. I play, compose, and commission music to be compsed for myself and the Church.
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Something I forgot to say:
In addition to visions, I am also given the gift of inedia.
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Something I forgot to say:
In addition to visions, I am also given the gift of inedia.
What is inedia?
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It is mystical gift, by which one can refrain from all food and drink (except the Eucharist) without losing his life or health.
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Not eating or drinking would make normal interaction with other people very hard. Look how many stories from the Gospel involve food and drink: it is essential to normal life. Whatever I might desire to be, being REALLY different from my fellow men is not something I would desire. I would gladly accept it from God, but would not seek it. God speed.
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Spouse of Jesus,
If your gifts are for real and you seek to become a saint, then the first lesson in being a saint is humility. The saints never talked about their gifts publicly - out of humility they tried to keep it hidden. It is a form of pride to publicize your gifts. I know that you didn't feel pride in telling us your gifts, but it stilll is contrary to the virtue of humility.
P.S. I do not possess humility myself but, since you show signs of desiring sainthood so much, I wanted to help you out to reach that goal. But the first step to sainthood is humility and you can't progress any further if you don't master this virtue.
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Alex,
You realize, of course, that Spouse of Jesus is talking about gifts she wishes she possessed -- not those she actually does. You need to read the OP (original post) to see what this thread is about.
Matthew
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I am a contemporary American with an awesome Guardian Angel who speaks to me sometimes. I am living in West Virginia with my very patient husband. His rich Aunt has left him $6 million. We have 3 biological children, and have adopted eight more. Two are Ethiopian, 3 are from El Salvador, and the other three we rescued from abortion clinics. We did this using a series of highly sophisticated martial arts and special training - nobody was hurt. We operate a network of baby rescuers and have expert but humble people who are wizards at forging docuŠ¼entation.
My husband has enough medical and military training to cause temporary amnesia, safely deliver the baby and get out.
Recently we have purchased a cave beneath the city of Paris, formerly a hiding place for Catholics in the Reign of Terror. It has a tiny chapel. Our Ethiopian son has a vocation to the Holy priesthood.
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Alex,
You realize, of course, that Spouse of Jesus is talking about gifts she wishes she possessed -- not those she actually does. You need to read the OP (original post) to see what this thread is about.
Matthew
:laugh1: Well, don't I feel like an idiot.
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Lol, DeMaistere. Perhaps you could have surpassed Ludwig Van Beethoven. Elizabeth, I like yours; that would be cool if you and your husband could do all that stuff.
Now mine. I would be born male, a purebread Irishman, at the same time I was born, just when the internet came to be. I would be born poor, my father but a lowly salesman. We would at the beginning of life be moving around a lot. I would make very few friends, but I would be very interested and curious about everything that goes on around me. My father would eventually convert to Traditional Catholicism, and so would the rest of my family. I would be an only child, and so I would be lonely. I would not receive a formal education, but would be taught by my mother. She would encourage me to pursue whatever I was interested in. As I got older, I would think more about death and come closer to Christ. I would also go to the library frequently, reading whatever it is that I find interesting. When I was about, say, 18 years old, I would write a fiction novel that becomes a best seller, and I would have an income that would set me for life. Looking back on my life, I would realize that I wanted to have a good, big, catholic family that stayed put in one spot, and would be far away from the evils of the world. Later, I would meet a girl that shared my beliefs, and we would build a house out in the woods in Wisconsin, with a Catholic Church within walking distance. I would raise 8 or so children, because I knew what it felt to be an only child. I would personally educate them in the ways of Christ, so that I may give to Him saints. I would write books, both fiction and nonfiction, invent things, study philosphy, write music, or even sketch. And then, as I lay dying, I would have my entire family around me as I lay on my death bed, and during my last breath, I would have the privelage of seeing the Holy Family appear standing over me.
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Lybus, your post is a beautiful novel in itself.
You ought to make a book or a movie out of it!
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thank you very much spouse, I appreciate that.
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Lybus, your story actually brought a tear to my eye.
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Wow, Lybus. I bet Trad Catholic Parents with marriagable daughters circle you when you show up at Mass. Very beautiful indeed.
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Let's see... I would be born to a Christian Samurai family in Japan in the year 1575 and live as a samurai under the Konishi clan. I would start my life long training in the martial arts at the age of 5 and in my teens become a catechist under the direction of the Jesuits like other samurai at the time. During my spare time I would go about destroying Buddhist and Shinto shrines and temples (as my Lord Augustine Konishi would order to do). I would then live to battle and catechize the Koreans in the Korean campaign, battle the anti-catholic pagans and apostates in the Sekigahara and Osaka campaigns. Finally, as a masterless samurai of 62 years, I and my children would die in the last standing defence of Hara castle in the Shimabara Rebellion.
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Dont have a lot of time to write, so a few ideas from me:
1.Born in the 13C Scotland, Catholic of course and live a long life, with a peaceful death (rare in those days and place). Would like the gift of languages or music, but would hate to give up my Left Brain-ness..
2.Born and grow up in late 1800's, devout and well to do Catholic family...get to meet Belloc/Chesterton and witness the revival of Catholicism in Britain and the leading lights of the day, inc Manning/Newman, etc.,,,die a peaceful death after long life....
3. Grow up and serve Emperor Carl, try to play a part in reversing history and maintaining the Hapsburg throne......
justa few quick ideas, more to come later, but could not resist getting in on this thread!!! :alcohol:
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What you wrote was quite intriguing. I have a respect for the samurai. I would much love it if you would offer some readings on catholic samurai.
Let's see... I would be born to a Christian Samurai family in Japan in the year 1575 and live as a samurai under the Konishi clan. I would start my life long training in the martial arts at the age of 5 and in my teens become a catechist under the direction of the Jesuits like other samurai at the time. During my spare time I would go about destroying Buddhist and Shinto shrines and temples (as my Lord Augustine Konishi would order to do). I would then live to battle and catechize the Koreans in the Korean campaign, battle the anti-catholic pagans and apostates in the Sekigahara and Osaka campaigns. Finally, as a masterless samurai of 62 years, I and my children would die in the last standing defence of Hara castle in the Shimabara Rebellion.
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What you wrote was quite intriguing. I have a respect for the samurai. I would much love it if you would offer some readings on catholic samurai.
That I will later on. Unfortunately almost all of my research is second-hand, and whenever I think I've found a researcher who has experience and access to old manuscripts they end up being dead. I guess I better forget about talking to Fr.Onoda from Japan. :laugh1: I'll send ya a PM later.
To keep this thread on topic... if I really had a chance to rewrite my life I wouldnt. I'd be born to the same parents, in the same era, in the same position in society, (only I would undo all the stupid mistakes I've made), because it's obvious that God saw it best for me to be born here, and because there is no time like the present to take advantage of the graces that God has given to us and not to our ancestors, and to do one's best to live and die a Catholic Man!
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You are right Catholic Samurai.
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If I could re-write my life, I would die immedietly after my First Holy Communion and Confession.
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I want the contrary. I love to live long after baptism on the condition that God gives me the gift of innocence as He gave it to St. Alphonsus. He kept his innocence for more than 88 years!
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I would live during the time of Jesus. I would be one of the faithful who followed Him everywhere (witnessing His miracles, sermons, passion, and death).Then, after His death, I am martyred for my faith.
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Oh No!
I feel sad when I read those gospel part when our Lord tells people to GO in peace. And when He wants then to GO and let Him alone with His apostles.
If I were at that time I would say:" I will not GO. If you want to send me to hell send me. But don't tell me to GO."
One of the reason I left islam was the fact that it believed in s** in heaven. I loved those crazy 'saints' of islam. and didn't want to be in a heaven when those whom I respected as saints would be constantly telling me to GO because "two is a company three is a crowd" It was why when they told me mot to 'apostize' as it could send me to hell, I said:" hell with it, I don't want your heaven"
I would rather hear Jesus insulting me and shouting at me than saying GO to me.
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If I could rewrite my life I would NOT.
God put me here, God put me now. He has given me exactly the circuŠ¼stances I need in my life in order to choose my salvation and work for that of others. Praise be to God Almighty for granting me the great blessing of placing me in the time in which we live!