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Author Topic: Quotes from Mark Twain  (Read 377 times)

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Offline donkath

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Quotes from Mark Twain
« on: May 18, 2021, 07:06:28 PM »
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    • I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
    • Don’t wrestle with pigs.  You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
    • Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason
    • I was educated once and it took me years to get over it
    • Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics an your opponent will do it for you.
    • When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn’t want to be seen with him in public.   When I was 24, I was amaze at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
    • If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed.  If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
    • Do not complain about growing old.   It is a privilege denied to many.
    • Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
    • The older I get the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
    • Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
    • It is better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right.
    • The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; but that they know so many things that just aren’t so.
    • Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
    • Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
    • There are laws that protect the freedom of the press’s speech but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press.
    • If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
    • Temper is what gets us into most trouble.  Pride is what keeps us there.
    • Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
    • A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn’t.
    • A lie can travel half way round the world while the Truth is still lacing up her boots.
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    "In His wisdom," says St. Gregory, "almighty God preferred rather to bring good out of evil than never allow evil to occur."

    Offline Ladislaus

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    Re: Quotes from Mark Twain
    « Reply #1 on: May 18, 2021, 07:38:10 PM »
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    • Yeah, Twain had some great ones.

    I also like his.  "There are three kinds of lies:  lies, damned lies, and statistics."
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    Offline Last Tradhican

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    Re: Quotes from Mark Twain
    « Reply #2 on: May 19, 2021, 10:04:52 AM »
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    • Another - "Good judgement is the result of experience, and experience the result of bad judgement".
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    The Vatican II church - Assisting Souls to Hell Since 1962

    For there shall arise false Christs and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders, insomuch as to deceive (if possible) even the elect. Mat 24:24

    Offline donkath

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    Re: Quotes from Mark Twain
    « Reply #3 on: May 20, 2021, 08:29:57 PM »
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    • I do not know the author of this one...

    “Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you’re a good person is like expecting a lion not to attack you because you’re a vegetarian.”
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    "In His wisdom," says St. Gregory, "almighty God preferred rather to bring good out of evil than never allow evil to occur."
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