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Author Topic: Quotes from Mark Twain  (Read 875 times)

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Offline donkath

Quotes from Mark Twain
« on: May 18, 2021, 07:06:28 PM »
  • I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
  • Don’t wrestle with pigs.  You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
  • Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason
  • I was educated once and it took me years to get over it
  • Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics an your opponent will do it for you.
  • When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn’t want to be seen with him in public.   When I was 24, I was amaze at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
  • If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed.  If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
  • Do not complain about growing old.   It is a privilege denied to many.
  • Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
  • The older I get the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
  • Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
  • It is better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right.
  • The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; but that they know so many things that just aren’t so.
  • Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
  • Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
  • There are laws that protect the freedom of the press’s speech but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press.
  • If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
  • Temper is what gets us into most trouble.  Pride is what keeps us there.
  • Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
  • A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn’t.
  • A lie can travel half way round the world while the Truth is still lacing up her boots.
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Offline Ladislaus

  • Supporter
Re: Quotes from Mark Twain
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2021, 07:38:10 PM »
Yeah, Twain had some great ones.

I also like his.  "There are three kinds of lies:  lies, damned lies, and statistics."
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Offline Last Tradhican

Re: Quotes from Mark Twain
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2021, 10:04:52 AM »
Another - "Good judgement is the result of experience, and experience the result of bad judgement".
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Offline donkath

Re: Quotes from Mark Twain
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2021, 08:29:57 PM »
I do not know the author of this one...

“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you’re a good person is like expecting a lion not to attack you because you’re a vegetarian.”
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