1. Two vultures board an airplane, each, carrying two dead raccoons.  The
stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."
 
  2. Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth
orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world.
 
  3. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
 
  4. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in
the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
heat it, too.
 
  5. A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
 
  6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal?  He wanted to transcend dental medication.
 
  7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing  in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.  "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

 "Because," he said, "I can't   stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
 
  8. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal."  The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later Juan sends a picture of himself
to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.  Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
 
  9. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a
small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers
from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
  He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the
rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in
town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed
their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified,
they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent
florist friars.
 
  10. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from
bad  breath. This made him ...what?  (Oh, man, this is so bad it's good)
  A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
 
  11. And finally, there was an e-mail of ten different puns sent to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

The Gandhi one made me laugh.