Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => Funny Stuff for Catholics => Topic started by: Miseremini on February 09, 2021, 09:24:37 PM
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NEVER KNEW I WAS HOME SCHOOLED ... :jester: :facepalm:
Most of our Generation of 60 plus was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My father taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"
13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
This should only be sent to the over 60 crowd because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these "EXACT" words by our parents...
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That’s a real giggle.
It’s so true that this is what was said to us kids - word for word, with the exception of any criticism of the other spouse; this was an absolute no-no. I never heard my parents ever have a go at each other, even in the general sense of snipes about the opposite sex.
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You're right Nadir, it was word for word even here in North America. Must have been a universal language.
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You forgot two!
My father taught me about SACRIFICING for others. While whipping our rear ends, he’d state, “You should know this hurts me a lot more than it hurts you!”
My mother taught me about DIVINE JUSTICE. If we complained we’d been unfairly punished at school for the misdeeds of others, Mom would look at us, raise her eyebrows, and say, “Well, dear, just consider it the punishment for something you did do, but didn’t get caught.”
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:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:
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Good ones!! :laugh1: :laugh1:
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And who can forget, when we had something worth complaining about, we got, not sympathy, but “offer it up for the suffering souls in purgatory”.
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My mother taught me how to manage money, how to say no, how to save it and how to earn it, how to know a short changer, not to gamble...
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On abandonment?
In the car- if you keep that up I’ll leave you on the side of the road and you can walk home!
On fear
If you keep bashing your sister the monster under her bed will come and eat you.
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How about this:
Kid: Dad, I'm bored.
Dad: then go and get a log.
Nobody in our house was ever bored.
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On abandonment?
In the car- if you keep that up I’ll leave you on the side of the road and you can walk home!
On fear
If you keep bashing your sister the monster under her bed will come and eat you.
The latter is a new one to me!
We didn’t have a monster in the house. Instead, there was “the finger,” the bones of a wealthy woman’s ring finger that lay buried behind the elementary school by day, and haunted the neighborhood by night. In her long life, the woman had been jilted by her fiancée, who’d ripped off her engagement ring, severing her finger, which he’d tossed into the woods across the road. When she died an embittered old maid, penniless, her spirit roamed about seeking her finger, but they never found one another. A curse had been placed upon her by her never-to-be mother-in-law. If the finger poked you on the shoulder, you would die within the year.
In retrospect, the monster sounds like a pleasant fellow!
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The latter is a new one to me!
We didn’t have a monster in the house. Instead, there was “the finger,” the bones of a wealthy woman’s ring finger that lay buried behind the elementary school by day, and haunted the neighborhood by night. In her long life, the woman had been jilted by her fiancée, who’d ripped off her engagement ring, severing her finger, which he’d tossed into the woods across the road. When she died an embittered old maid, penniless, her spirit roamed about seeking her finger, but they never found one another. A curse had been placed upon her by her never-to-be mother-in-law. If the finger poked you on the shoulder, you would die within the year.
In retrospect, the monster sounds like a pleasant fellow!
:laugh1:
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How about this:
Kid: Dad, I'm bored.
Dad: then go and get a log.
Nobody in our house was ever bored.
HA!
Same here, one things for sure you learned real quick to never say that there was nothing to do. Dad's favorite chore for us was pulling weeds.
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Reminds me of the one-time in college I worked for Chick-Fil-A. Very well-known national food chain here in the States, and if you've ever been inside one, they're all spotless. Why?
Because when you're not doing something, you're always cleaning. Always, always cleaning. You're never allowed to be bored there :jester: