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Author Topic: More Italian Jokes  (Read 2783 times)

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Offline Dulcamara

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More Italian Jokes
« on: August 16, 2010, 12:16:32 AM »
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  • You know you're Italian when...

    You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

    You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.

    Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.

    You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

    You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

    You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

    If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.

    There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.

    You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
    I renounce any and all of my former views against what the Church through Pope Leo XIII said, "This, then, is the teaching of the Catholic Church ...no one of the several forms of government is in itself condemned, inasmuch as none of them contains anythi


    Offline Soldat fem de Dieu

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    More Italian Jokes
    « Reply #1 on: September 07, 2011, 02:43:20 AM »
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  • Quote from: Dulcamara
    You know you're Italian when...

    You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

    You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.

    Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.

    You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

    You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

    You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

    If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.

    There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.

    You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.


    Thank you Paesano (amico di italian)  :roll-laugh2:  I needed that laugh!


    Offline herbert

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    More Italian Jokes
    « Reply #2 on: September 07, 2011, 05:10:42 AM »
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  • Quote from: Dulcamara


    If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.


    really? i dont associate italians with shortness

    Offline parentsfortruth

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    « Reply #3 on: September 07, 2011, 07:03:44 PM »
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  • Quote from: herbert
    Quote from: Dulcamara


    If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.


    really? i dont associate italians with shortness


    I do!



    Pesci is 5'4"



    DeNero is 5'8"

    Most Italians, it is true, aren't taller than 5'9".
    Matthew 5:37

    But let your speech be yea, yea: no, no: and that which is over and above these, is of evil.

    My Avatar is Fr. Hector Bolduc. He was a faithful parish priest in De Pere, WI,

    Offline Soldat fem de Dieu

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    « Reply #4 on: September 07, 2011, 09:36:23 PM »
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  • Quote from: herbert
    Quote from: Dulcamara


    If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.


    really? i dont associate italians with shortness


    and

    Benigni - 5'6''

    Giannini - 5'8 1/2''

    Scorsese -
    5'4"

    ... you get the picture

    by the way, how do you paste images on this site without the "attachment file/name" wording?


    Offline parentsfortruth

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    « Reply #5 on: September 08, 2011, 10:11:32 AM »
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  • You copy the image location, and it.
    Matthew 5:37

    But let your speech be yea, yea: no, no: and that which is over and above these, is of evil.

    My Avatar is Fr. Hector Bolduc. He was a faithful parish priest in De Pere, WI,

    Offline parentsfortruth

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    « Reply #6 on: September 08, 2011, 10:14:40 AM »
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  • Let's not forget Danny Devito.



    5'
    Matthew 5:37

    But let your speech be yea, yea: no, no: and that which is over and above these, is of evil.

    My Avatar is Fr. Hector Bolduc. He was a faithful parish priest in De Pere, WI,

    Offline herbert

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    « Reply #7 on: September 08, 2011, 11:54:04 AM »
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  • i wonder if there statisticss on average height of european groups?


    Offline herbert

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    « Reply #8 on: September 08, 2011, 04:28:45 PM »
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  • Quote from: herbert
    i wonder if there statisticss on average height of european groups?


    yes there are: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_height

    5'9" 1/2 aberage for italiano males, so i guess they are short by euro standards, but compared to world averages it appear they are in the middle