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Author Topic: Mental Hospital Phone Menu  (Read 3372 times)

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Offline Alex

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Mental Hospital Phone Menu
« on: November 20, 2009, 02:49:14 AM »
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    • MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

    Hello, and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

    If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

    If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9..

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

    If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

    If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
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    Offline greenhill

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    Mental Hospital Phone Menu
    « Reply #1 on: November 20, 2009, 06:04:24 AM »
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    • I find all these discriminatory - against ME!!!!

    I am going to file a law suit against The State Mental Hospital!!!! :laugh1: :laugh1: :laugh1: :roll-laugh2: :roll-laugh2: :roll-laugh2:
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    Offline Elizabeth

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    Mental Hospital Phone Menu
    « Reply #2 on: November 20, 2009, 12:53:27 PM »
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    •  :roll-laugh1: :roll-laugh1: :roll-laugh1: :roll-laugh1: :roll-laugh1:Thank you for that!!!
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    Offline Lybus

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    Mental Hospital Phone Menu
    « Reply #3 on: November 20, 2009, 02:53:01 PM »
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    • There's a youtube version of that somewhere.
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    In regards to being a responsible man, would it be interesting to learn, after six years of accuмulating all the wisdom you could, that you had it right all alon

    Offline ServusSpiritusSancti

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    Mental Hospital Phone Menu
    « Reply #4 on: May 24, 2012, 03:51:21 PM »
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    •  :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:
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    Please ignore ALL of my posts. I was naive during my time posting on this forum and didn’t know any better. I retract and deeply regret any and all uncharitable or erroneous statements I ever made here.

    Offline Nylndech

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    Mental Hospital Phone Menu
    « Reply #5 on: May 24, 2012, 05:53:55 PM »
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    • I don't get it
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    can't tell if ninja

    or cryptotrad

    Offline Nadir

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    Mental Hospital Phone Menu
    « Reply #6 on: May 25, 2012, 04:33:15 AM »
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    • Quote from: Nylndech
    I don't get it


    Then dial 0. :wink:
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    Help of Christians, guard our land from assault or inward stain,
    Let it be what God has planned, His new Eden where You reign.
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