Sources in California say that radical Muslims are planning to go on a rampage in the City of Los Angeles, killing anyone who is a U.S. citizen.

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Police fear the death toll could be as high as 9.

I hear they held a secret meeting at the local McDonalds. Two of them came from different ports of entry, one from Seattle and the other from New York. When they met they had decided to speak the native language so as not to be conspicuous. One started to speak in English. The other stopped him. "We're supposed to be speaking the native language brother," he said. "We need to be speaking in Spanish."        

*Bu-dum TSSSSHHHH*

...don't quit your day job, Poche.

  <--- laughing at you, not with you

My Favorite Animal
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal
was, and I said, "Fried chicken."  
She said I wasn't funny, but
she couldn't have been right, because everyone else
laughed.   My parents told me to always tell the
 truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what
 happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of
PETA.   He said they love
animals very much.   I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and
 beef.   Anyway, my teacher
sent me to the principal's office.  
I told him what happened, and he
laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher
asked me what my favorite   live
 animal was.  
I told her it was chicken. She
asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make
them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's
office. He laughed, and told me not to do it
again.   I don't
understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my
teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her
what famous person I admired most.   I told her,
"Colonel Sanders."  
 Guess where I am now...