Author Topic: Joke - Mohammed (Read 2736 times)

Matthew · « **on:** July 21, 2014, 04:46:23 PM »

Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said,“I heard you were planning to leave me?”

She replied,“Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!”

Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds,“that’s a mighty big word for a 6 year old.”

MariaCatherine · « **Reply #1 on:** July 24, 2014, 12:53:56 PM »

I regret upvoting you here, Matthew. I despise Mohammedanism and all it stands for, but pedophilia is nothing to joke about.

ggreg · « **Reply #2 on:** July 24, 2014, 04:33:14 PM »

Patrick was working with Mohammed on a scaffolding tower when Mohammed lost his footing and slipped. Paddy managed to grab his hand and Mohammed was left dangling 150 feet in the air.

"Please, please," Mohammed begged, "don't let me drop!"

"Will you eat my bacon sandwich if I pull you up?", Paddy asked him

"Yes! Yes! Of course I will!" Mohammed replied.

So Paddy let go, saying to himself, "I'm not having any dirty Muslim steal my breakfast".

Neil Obstat · « **Reply #3 on:** July 24, 2014, 05:09:20 PM »

Quote from: ggreg

Patrick was working with Mohammed on a scaffolding tower when Mohammed lost his footing and slipped. Paddy managed to grab his hand and Mohammed was left dangling 150 feet in the air.

"Please, please," Mohammed begged, "don't let me drop!"

"Will you eat my bacon sandwich if I pull you up?", Paddy asked him

"Yes! Yes! Of course I will!" Mohammed replied.

So Paddy let go, saying to himself, "I'm not having any dirty Muslim steal my breakfast".

I heard a different ending for this joke.

Patrick was taking his morning break from work with Mohammed on a scaffolding tower when Mohammed lost his footing and slipped. Paddy managed to grab his hand and Mohammed was left dangling 150 feet in the air.

"Please, please," Mohammed begged, "don't let me drop!"

"Will you eat my bacon sandwich, here, if I pull you up?", Paddy asked him.

"No! No! Please don't make me even TOUCH the pork!!"

So Paddy pulled the Mohammedan up to safety, and as he was catching his breath, the raghead started staring at his hands. Then, with contenance morphing into fury, he shoved Paddy off the scaffold, who cried up as he was falling down: "I saved your life! What did you do that for?"

To which the Moselm replied, "You TOUCHED me with PORK on your hands!"

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OKay MariaCatherine, you can thumb me up and then post that you regret doing so because making fun of Moslems killing Christians for touching them with lard on their fingers is no laughing matter.

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Neil Obstat · « **Reply #4 on:** July 24, 2014, 05:23:15 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

Mohammed got word that one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, “I heard you were planning to leave me?!”

She replied, “Yes, I overheard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!”

Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, “That’s a mighty big word for a 6 year old.”

Quote from: MariaCatherine

I regret upvoting you here, Matthew. I despise Mohammedanism and all it stands for, but pedophilia is nothing to joke about.

I agree.

But here, I have to admit: this is the first time I've had an OP and a second post critical of it to 'thumb' at, and I've 'liked' both of them.

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MariaCatherine · « **Reply #5 on:** July 24, 2014, 07:08:54 PM »

Do any of you know this one?

A Mohammedan and a Catholic alcoholic, and would-be Mohammedan, but for their law against alcohol, are talking. The Mohammedan tells the Catholic he can become a Mohammedan too, and keep drinking, because there are exceptions to every rule.

So the delighted Catholic says 'OK, what do I have to do?'. The Mohammedan says the words of their 'creed', which the Catholic repeats, and the Catholic is at that point a Mohammedan too. I think at that point the one-time Catholic takes out a bottle and has a gargle. The Mohammedan says, 'Now I must kill you, for drinking alcohol is against our law.'

'But you just said ... '

'We have other laws too. We can break any law to make a convert, and we must kill any Moslems who break our laws.'

Surprises are often funny in and of themselves, even when mortal sin is involved (not to excuse myself, of course!).

crossbro · « **Reply #6 on:** July 24, 2014, 10:05:52 PM »

I do not make jokes about Muslims.

I owe them too much for all the porn, alcohol, and cigarettes they used to sell me out of their convenience store when I was in junior high and high school.

TKGS · « **Reply #7 on:** July 25, 2014, 05:54:16 AM »

Quote from: MariaCatherine

Do any of you know this one?

A Mohammedan and a Catholic alcoholic, and would-be Mohammedan, but for their law against alcohol, are talking. The Mohammedan tells the Catholic he can become a Mohammedan too, and keep drinking, because there are exceptions to every rule.

So the delighted Catholic says 'OK, what do I have to do?'. The Mohammedan says the words of their 'creed', which the Catholic repeats, and the Catholic is at that point a Mohammedan too. I think at that point the one-time Catholic takes out a bottle and has a gargle. The Mohammedan says, 'Now I must kill you, for drinking alcohol is against our law.'

'But you just said ... '

'We have other laws too. We can break any law to make a convert, and we must kill any Moslems who break our laws.'

Surprises are often funny in and of themselves, even when mortal sin is involved (not to excuse myself, of course!).

But this one isn't a joke--it's actually how muslims are.