Author Topic: Joke - car crash  (Read 851 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Matthew

  • Forum Owner
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 20487
  • Reputation: +18094/-52
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Joke - car crash
« on: April 15, 2017, 08:10:10 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Car Crash
     
    A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car.  Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
    After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our cars!  There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.  This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
    The man replied," I agree with you completely.  This must be a sign from God!"
    The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.  My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn't break.  Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune."
    Then she handed the bottle to the man.
    The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.
    The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
    She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."

    Adam ate the apple, too!
    Men will never learn!
    Start your Amazon.com session by clicking this link, and my family and I get a commission on your purchase! It costs you nothing extra.

    - Matthew

    Offline BumphreyHogart

    • Full Member
    • ***
    • Posts: 689
    • Reputation: +196/-637
    • Gender: Male
      • View Profile
    Re: Joke - car crash
    « Reply #1 on: April 15, 2017, 12:56:58 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!2
  • Car Crash

    A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
    After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our cars!  There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.  This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
    The man replied," I agree with you completely.  This must be a sign from God!"
    The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.  My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn't break.  Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune."
    Then she handed the bottle to the man.
    The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.
    The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
    She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."

    Adam ate the apple, too!
    Men will never learn!

    Since you have effectively disabled downthumbing for your yourself, I have to speak up to say that Catholics shouldn't be using God in jokes. Reminds me of the levity of the Novus Ordo.

    "there can be no holiness where there is disagreement with the pope" - Pope St. Pius X

    Today, only Catholics holding the sedevacantist position are free from the anguish entailed by this truth.


    Offline Marlelar

    • Sr. Member
    • ****
    • Posts: 2752
    • Reputation: +1482/-18
    • Gender: Female
      • View Profile
    Re: Joke - car crash
    « Reply #2 on: April 15, 2017, 07:51:17 PM »
  • Thanks!1
  • No Thanks!0
  • What makes you think she was Catholic?

    Offline AMDGJMJ

    • Full Member
    • ***
    • Posts: 677
    • Reputation: +320/-16
    • Gender: Female
      • View Profile
    Re: Joke - car crash
    « Reply #3 on: April 15, 2017, 09:22:25 PM »
  • Thanks!1
  • No Thanks!0
  • This reminds me of one of my all-time favorite jokes:


    A Protestant minister was taking a hike in one of the National Forrests and he suddenly came across a big grizzly bear.

    In fear and terror he said looked into the sky and said out loud, "Lord!  Lord!  Please let this be a holy bear!"

    The bear stopped, and the pastor gave a sigh of relief, but then watched in shock as the bear began to make the sign of the Cross and say, "Bless us, Oh Lord, and these Thy gifts which we are about to receive..."

    Apparently it was a Catholic bear...   ;)

    "Jesus, Meek and Humble of Heart, make my heart like unto Thine!"

    http://whoshallfindavaliantwoman.blogspot.com/

    Offline Neil Obstat

    • Hero Member
    • *****
    • Posts: 12661
    • Reputation: +6909/-58
    • Gender: Male
      • View Profile
    Re: Joke - car crash
    « Reply #4 on: April 15, 2017, 09:53:38 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • .
    In California, they'd be waiting a long time for the police.
    .

    Quote
    The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

    She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."
    .
    Since nobody was injured, in California the police are not going to show up.
    .
    .--. .-.-.- ... .-.-.- ..-. --- .-. - .... . -.- .. -. --. -.. --- -- --..-- - .... . .--. --- .-- . .-. .- -. -.. -....- -....- .--- ..- ... - -.- .. -.. -.. .. -. --. .-.-.


     

    Sitemap 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 
    Powered by SMFPacks WYSIWYG Editor