Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => Funny Stuff for Catholics => Topic started by: Philothea3 on March 07, 2022, 06:47:44 PM
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Whatever you're giving up for Lent, we can still use some light entertainment right? ;)
LET'S START:
Lent has begun, I
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Tree on my house
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caught on fire, and
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the thunder rolls on
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Down the slope into
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Jello. But Klaus Schwab
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Jello. But Klaus Schwab
writes another book. So
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we burn it. Then
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we burn it. Then
into the White House
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goes all the ashes
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goes all the ashes
all over Biden, but
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all over Biden, but
Putin steals the laptop
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Putin steals the laptop
and gives to Xi
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and gives to Xi
then the Martians attack!
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then the Martians attack!
the meatballs then go
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the meatballs then go
in freezer for abstinence
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in freezer for abstinence
as the sun rises
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as the sun rises
Atheists start to rage
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Atheists start to rage
and bash their heads
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and bash their heads
against tofu. Then Zelenskyy
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defrosts all the meatballs
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on the front porch
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on the front porch
while the squirrels were
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while the squirrels were
all going completely nuts.
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all going completely nuts.
because they were fasting
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because they were fasting
Until spring comes. Then
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Until spring comes. Then
They feast because i'ts
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They feast because i'ts
Papa Francis' resignation. And
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Papa Francis' resignation. And
The people rejoiced! Suddenly
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The people rejoiced! Suddenly
the Chastisement struck. But,
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the Chastisement struck. But,
media says it's UFO
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media says it's UFO
piloted by Vladimir Putin.
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"Where's your mask? You
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"Where's your mask? You
Filthy squirrel lover and
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Filthy squirrel lover and
the next time you
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the next time you
αssαssιnαtҽ Biden, you need
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αssαssιnαtҽ Biden, you need
to throw burritos at
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to throw burritos at
Kamala's big fat nose!
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Kamala's big fat nose!
so world war begins
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so world war begins
Internet shuts down, Matthew
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fires up the Ham
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fires up the Ham
But it breaks because
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But it breaks because
the ham bone's connected
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the ham bone's connected
It's a punishment from
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It's a punishment from
Bill Gates for using
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Bill Gates for using
only square nails for
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only square nails for
money laundry. His nose
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starts to bleed profusely
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starts to bleed profusely
because of the burrito
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because of the burrito
made with dog meat.
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that's three weeks old
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that's three weeks old
with Biden's ice cream
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Slowly melting cookies crumbling
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Slowly melting cookies crumbling,
his brain cells crackling,
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his diaper dripping
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yikes forgot four words!
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yikes forgot four words!
the diaper distracted her
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the diaper distracted her
like the-you know!
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Meanwhile on the Mississippi
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Huck discovers Bioweapons lab
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and Uncle Remus says
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Huck discovers Bioweapons lab
so he put the
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so he put the
plantation into bankruptcy so
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plantation into bankruptcy so
that he could end
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that he could end
the renewed Northern Aggression
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the renewed Northern Aggression
And the South rose
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And the South rose
The Bonnie Blue unfurled
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but..carpetbaggers came in
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but..carpetbaggers came in
mix marijuana with pizza
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mix marijuana with pizza
Had a good time
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Had a good time
and were quickly healed.
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and were quickly healed.
But then-the Puritans!
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But then-the Puritans!
ate all that was left
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ate all that was left
maintaining a righteous facade
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maintaining a righteous facade
whilst eating Quaker oats.
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whilst eating Quaker oats.
ended up getting sick
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ended up getting sick
they gathered halal lard
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they gathered halal lard
while the pig laughed
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while the pig laughed
yet still covertly kosher
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Converted to Catholic Faith
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Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!
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Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!
And St Joseph Arimathea!
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Benevolent bears brought bruschetta
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Benevolent bears brought bruschetta
barely bumbling by broadway.
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Brown bouncing baby bears
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Brown bouncing baby bears
brunching on brittle beams,
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Benevolently boasting bountiful blueberries
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Benevolently boasting bountiful blueberries
And savoring strawberries sumptuously.
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The squirrels meanwhile were
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The squirrels meanwhile were
scampering tree to tree,
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scampering tree to tree,
happily gathering their nuts
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happily gathering their nuts
fat nuts, skinny nuts,
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fat nuts, skinny nuts,
chocolate covered almond nuts
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chocolate covered almond nuts
It was a nut-apaloosa
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twas sugar sugar everywhere
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sugary squirrel sounds scrumptious
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said the brown bear.
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Then along came Goldilocks...
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Then along came Goldilocks...
Bearing a picnic basket
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Bearing a picnic basket
stolen from Yogi Bear
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stolen from Yogi Bear
This girl must repent!
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This girl must repent!
said little Boo-boo bear,
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said little Boo-boo bear,
while rolling a stogie
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said little Boo-boo bear,
But evil Goldilocks laughed
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while rolling a stogie
But evil Goldilocks laughed
Boo-boo, laughing, smiled mockingly
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Boo-boo, laughing, smiled mockingly
remembering the brown bear
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remembering the brown bear
enjoying his candied squirrel.
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enjoying his candied squirrel.
Goldllocks meanwhile was arrested
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Goldilocks meanwhile was arrested
Jailed, got a tat.
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Jailed, got a tat.
By a rat named
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Big boom boom Bergolio
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Goldilocks was then flogged
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Goldilocks was then flogged
like a rented mule
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like a rented mule
and she finally repented.
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and she finally repented.
Then became a nun
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Then became a nun
Order of St Ursula
(all these bears ya know!):laugh1:
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Praying night and day
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Meanwhile Yogi was eating
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And Boo-Boo was running
( I’m calling Boo-Boo one word!)
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And Boo-Boo was running
( I’m calling Boo-Boo one word!)
but where was Cindy?
(Yogi's female friend)
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but where was Cindy?
(Yogi's female friend)
Meanwhile, Grizzly Adams arrived
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Meanwhile, Grizzly Adams arrived
disguised as Bob Ross
(https://i.imgur.com/snVRajU.png)
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disguised as Bob Ross
(https://i.imgur.com/snVRajU.png)
Everyone grabbed a paintbrush
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Everyone grabbed a paintbrush
and made happy trees!
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and made happy trees!
while Cindy watched Squirrel
(https://i.imgur.com/6sR6q3D.png)
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And got very hungry.
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while Cindy watched Squirrel
(https://i.imgur.com/6sR6q3D.png)
Awwwwww. Dats cute even if tis a photoshoppe creation.
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Meanwhile the procrastinating chipmunks
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Scampered across covered bridge
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singing about the trees
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It is God’s Rainbow..
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swift came the rain
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after I retired from
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after I retired from
being an Elvis impersonator
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being an Elvis impersonator
So I tried being
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An inquisitor, to burn
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An inquisitor, to burn
many Novus-Ordo books
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many Novus-Ordo books
heretics, witches, so-domites, perverts
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heretics, witches, so-domites, perverts
Gonna need more fuel
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Gonna need more fuel
Bring forth more wood!
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Bring forth more wood!
And the gas chamber
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And the gas chamber
built for popcorn collapsed
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built for popcorn collapsed
Oh no! cried Francis