Author Topic: Have you ordered a pizza lately?  (Read 438 times)

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Offline Miseremini

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Have you ordered a pizza lately?
« on: June 18, 2021, 05:55:53 PM »
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  • Quote
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    Caller: Is this Gordon's Pizza?
     
    Google: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
     
    Caller: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
     
    Google: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
     
    Caller: OK.. I would like to order a pizza.
     
    Google: Do you want your usual, sir?
     
    Caller: My usual? You know me?
     
    Google:  According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms
    and meatballs on a thick crust.
     
    Caller: OK!  That’s what I want ...
     
    Google:  May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula,
    sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?
     
    Caller: What? I detest vegetables.

    Google: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
     
    Caller: How the hell do you know?
     
    Google:  Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.  We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
     
    Caller:  Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take
    medication for my cholesterol.
     
    Google:  Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
     
    Caller: I bought more from another drugstore.
     
    Google: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

    Caller:  I paid in cash.
     
    Google:  But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
     
    Caller:  I have other sources of cash.
     
    Google:  That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
     
    Caller:  WHAT THE HELL?
     
    Google:  I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
     
    Caller:  Enough already!  I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.  I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
     
    Google:  I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago...
    "Let God arise, and let His enemies be scattered: and them that hate Him flee from before His Holy Face"  Psalm 67:2[/b]


    Offline SimpleMan

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    Re: Have you ordered a pizza lately?
    « Reply #1 on: June 18, 2021, 07:54:58 PM »
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  • Oh, drat.  I was finna order a pizza in about ten minutes.  Now you tell me.


    Offline Viva Cristo Rey

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    Re: Have you ordered a pizza lately?
    « Reply #2 on: June 19, 2021, 04:08:23 AM »
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  • That is scary pizza
    To live with the Saints in Heaven is all bliss and glory....To live with the saints on Earth is just another story!  (unknown)

    Offline Nadir

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    Re: Have you ordered a pizza lately?
    « Reply #3 on: June 19, 2021, 05:56:01 AM »
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  • That is scary pizza
    Sure is! Boy, am I glad we make our own.

    Offline Matthew

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    Re: Have you ordered a pizza lately?
    « Reply #4 on: June 19, 2021, 07:59:02 AM »
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  • That's an old Facebook joke.

    They don't deliver pizza in our area -- too rural.
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    Offline Romulus

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    Re: Have you ordered a pizza lately?
    « Reply #5 on: June 19, 2021, 10:32:42 AM »
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  • But ya cant beat Papa Johns stuffed crust with banana peppers, sausage, pepperoni and extra cheese dipped in garlic butter.
    So do all who live to see such times but it is not for them to decide, all you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.


     

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